I recently read the story of Karly Sheehan as someone wrote a book about her recently...it will break your heart. The mother's boyfriend tortured this little girl for her short three years of life and tried to set up the natural father in order to get the father to pay child support. The mother also played a part in it by being negligent.
Often, the mother turns a blind eye because she doesn't want to sacrifice the relationship, and convinces herself that she isn't seeing what's obviously there. The instability of a shack up creates insecurity that facilitates abuse. The absence of a blood tie between boyfriend and child also creates impermanence. It's tragic when a marriage breaks up, but it's worse when society decides that marriage is unimportant, or redefines it out of existence.
I don't think it matters whether children are involved or planned for. I think everyone needs a partner. Everyone, I'm saying.
As far as I am concerned two people can jump a broom and proclaim that they are married, and they are. They have said it out loud in front of whoever they chose and the church and the state has no say at all in the matter. The IRS may argue the case, and I'm sure they will, but to me that's not the issue.
I did some chasing down to confirm it...it comes from a 1995 Study by a Biologist named Claus Weskind at the University of Switzerland in Bern.Quote:
If she's been on birth-control pills the whole time you dated, there's a chance you're both being tricked into marrying exactly the wrong person by your own bodies.
When a woman is actually pregnant, her body decides, "It's not like I can get more pregnant," and it stops doing a bunch of the things it normally does. The pill basically uses hormones to convince a woman's body that it's already pregnant. The woman doesn't want to get pregnant, her body thinks it's pregnant, everyone's happy.
Or at least, they would be if it weren't for that pesky MHC stuff controlling who you can fall in love with. Just as a pregnant woman might find herself suddenly craving food she used to find repulsive, her taste in MHC undergoes a polar reversal. She's no longer attracted to people with MHC that is dissimilar to hers, and way more attracted to men with similar MHC. From an evolutionary perspective, this was probably so that women would want to spend more time around family members in a protective environment rather than out at a bar trying to get laid again. In a modern context, it's probably why pregnant women so often want to murder their husbands with a meat cleaver: He no longer smells like her type, and it's far too late for that.
A woman on the pill gets exactly the same effect, without the belly or the appearance of the boob fairy. For the entire time she's on the pill, a woman will prefer people with MHC that is similar to her own. This is why some psychologists believe that the high divorce rate in modern times can be blamed on the pill. Two people can be dating for years, thinking they're meant for each other when in reality, their MHC is the exact opposite of compatible. Of course, they only find out when they're ready to hatch one and she goes off the pill, which of course is often way, way too late.
Read more: 6 Factors That Secretly Influence Who You Have Sex With | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/article_19024...#ixzz1sA7YyF7f
And it's also why I use the sponge instead. :p