"Fire the cattle guards!!"
Now this has about as much chance of being factual as my claim to the crown in Cameroon but it gave me a good belly laugh and sounds just about like those two maroons.
A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the "cattle" guards immediately! Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten President Obama out on the matter, Vice-President Joe Biden, intervened with a request that...before any "cattle" guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining.
'Times are hard,' said Joe Biden, 'it's only fair to the cattle guards and their families be given six months of retraining! '
For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. The first step causes the cattle to lose their balance as their hooves slide on the steel and they back off to never try again.