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  1. #1 Prayers for the Stressed 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change,
    The courage
    to change the things I cannot accept,
    And the wisdom
    to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.

    And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today,
    as they may be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  2. #2  
    Drive-by Poster ABC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retread View Post
    Grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change,
    The courage
    to change the things I cannot accept,
    And the wisdom
    to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.

    And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today,
    as they may be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.
    Love it Retread!!!

    American By Choice ~ 1980

    LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS ...

    NOT SOCIALISM!!!
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  3. #3  
    Senior Member Tecate's Avatar
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    Iíd like to add my own version, but will refrain. Donít need the FBI knocking on my door.
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  4. #4  
    Drive-by Poster ABC's Avatar
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    And I would like to add a few people to my list that I need to hide the bodies of that get on my nerves ...

    However, am running out of places to put them!

    American By Choice ~ 1980

    LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS ...

    NOT SOCIALISM!!!
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  5. #5  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ABC View Post
    And I would like to add a few people to my list that I need to hide the bodies of that get on my nerves ...

    However, am running out of places to put them!
    The Everglades takes care of things like that.

    The La swamps are closer for me.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  6. #6  
    Senior Member Zathras's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retread View Post
    The Everglades takes care of things like that.

    The La swamps are closer for me.
    Or if you know a pig farmer....

    Solve a man's problem with violence and help him for a day. Teach a man how to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime - Belkar Bitterleaf

    Liberalism is what the stupid think is smart.
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  7. #7  
    Drive-by Poster ABC's Avatar
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    Good one Zath ... Made me laugh!

    Ooh! Question ROCK ...

    Need to know if you *have* 16 pigs. Please answer ASAP.

    American By Choice ~ 1980

    LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS ...

    NOT SOCIALISM!!!
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  8. #8  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    When I'm having a bad day
    and it seems that people are trying to wind me up,
    it takes 42 muscles to frown,
    28 to smile
    and only 4 to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth!
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  9. #9  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zathras View Post
    Or if you know a pig farmer....

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pMqlxFVtGdU
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  10. #10  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Help me always to give 100% at work...
    12% on Monday,
    23% on Tuesday,
    40% on Wednesday,
    20% on Thursday
    and 5% on Friday
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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