Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 19 of 19
  1. #11  
    Senior Member Doc Savage's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    179
    Quote Originally Posted by Ree View Post
    How does someone with "two master’s degrees and 20 years negotiating $ multi-million deals with international companies" end up workin at the mini-mart?
    He disagrees with Wal-Mart's business practices.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  2. #12  
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Norfolk, VA
    Posts
    54
    Quote Originally Posted by Ree View Post
    How does someone with "two master’s degrees and 20 years negotiating $ multi-million deals with international companies" end up workin at the mini-mart?
    Because the are probably in womens and African American studies.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  3. #13  
    TANSTAAFL. asdf2231's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    The greatest country on Earth.
    Posts
    2,619
    Reply With Quote  
     

  4. #14  
    CU's Tallest Midget! PoliCon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Pittsburgh PA
    Posts
    25,328
    Quote Originally Posted by Aprilrazz View Post
    Because the are probably in womens and African American studies.
    OOOOOO burn!! 2 points!!
    Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  5. #15  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    FT Belvoir, VA
    Posts
    15,638
    Quote Originally Posted by Teetop View Post
    Ah, but this needs parsing, because it's not so much a bouncy letter as it is a sad, pathetic cry for attention and proof of manhood. In fact, it reads more like a wish fulfillment fantasy letter for a certain men's magazine. Let's parse this a bit, shall we?
    flamin lib (1000+ posts) Sat Jan-17-09 04:47 PM
    Original message
    True story, I swear. Telling inspired by the trailer for Gran Torino. That stuff really happens.
    Advertisements [?]I work the graveyard shift at a convenience store/bait shop. Not exactly where I thought I’d be at 61 with two master’s degrees and 20 years negotiating $ multi-million deals with international companies but life’s what it is. The managers like to hire us “mature” people because they, too, are mature and besides, we’re real reliable compared to gen Y.
    Translation: Dear Penthouse Forum, I never believed those letters of yours, but this really happened to me. I'm a bait shop employee with two masters' degrees and twenty years of experience with multinational corporations, and hung like a horse...
    There’s one kid who got his job because his father stocks the snack shelf and does a great job for the store. He’s 18, just out of high school and absolutely worthless. Really, not my imagination. Unkempt, overweight, sits on his butt all day, crude beyond any socially acceptable measure and is even surly with the customers. Nobody likes the kid.
    Translation: He's an outcast, but it's okay to dislike him because he's a male, and probably white. I, on the other hand, am respected, nay, loved, by my baitshop cronies, who are all prodigiously endowed, both intellectually and physically...
    For some reason he singled me out to elicit outrage. He shows me the worst sort of porn stored on his cell phone and makes really over-the-top commentary whenever I’m around, usually involving sexual contact between us. Not that any one else is spared, mind you.
    Translation: The sexual tension between us was intense. It was clear that, even though I was old enough to be his grandfather, this teenager wanted my body...
    During the overlap between his shift and mine he was sitting on a barstool next to the cash register. Apropos of nothing he says to me, “Picture my balls in your mouth.” It took about 5 seconds to sink in. I reply, “Picture my foot in your face.”
    Translation: He kicked sand in my face, just like in the Charles Atlas ads in the comic books that I read for my master's thesis on "Wolverine as a paradigm of the white male's alienation in the age of Reagan."
    “Naaa, can’t happen,” was the response.

    I took two steps, threw a front kick that fell a foot short of his face followed by a basic punch that ended just short of his nose. Now, it wasn’t a pretty kick and my form was nothing to be proud of, what with not practicing Ti Quan Do for more than thirty years but all he could see was the sole of my cross trainer followed by my fist hovering an inch from his face. Without saying a word I stepped backward to where I was. After that we didn’t speak and he was even subdued with the rest of the staff.
    Translation: I demonstrated my manhood and the lad was taken aback. I could almost see the huge text over my head, reading "Hero of the beach!"
    A month or so later a co-worker, a retired woman who works just to maintain social contact, asked if the stories were true, did I really threaten to kick Casey in the face. Well, yeah, I said. Lucky I didn’t actually do it ‘cause I’d go to jail and he’d go to the emergency room. Besides, it cost me.
    Translation: I was later approached by a female co-worker. She also has two masters' degrees, one in tantric practices, another in advanced yoga positions for the overly endowed woman, and a body that just won't quit...
    “Cost you how? Did he file charges?”

    “No, pulled a hamstring and walked with a limp for two weeks. As long as he wasn’t around anyway.”

    “Well, I’m glad somebody showed him that old people can stand up for themselves. Wish you woulda’ connected. Would serve him right.”
    Translation: She was truly grateful and her desire was obvious. She felt my bicep and said that I was a real man after all...
    Casey and I did speak just before he got fired for giving himself a raise out of the cash register. He asked if I really would have kicked him. All I said was that you shouldn’t mess with people you don’t know because you don’t know who they are, what they’ve done or what they’re capable of.
    Translation: Especially geriatric bait shop employees with an encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture references and two masters' degrees.
    This is a true story, I swear. Just thought I'd share.
    Translation: I'm lying through my teeth. Pity me.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
    Reply With Quote  
     

  6. #16  
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Norfolk, VA
    Posts
    54
    Quote Originally Posted by Odysseus View Post
    Ah, but this needs parsing, because it's not so much a bouncy letter as it is a sad, pathetic cry for attention and proof of manhood. In fact, it reads more like a wish fulfillment fantasy letter for a certain men's magazine. Let's parse this a bit, shall we?

    Translation: Dear Penthouse Forum, I never believed those letters of yours, but this really happened to me. I'm a bait shop employee with two masters' degrees and twenty years of experience with multinational corporations, and hung like a horse...

    Translation: He's an outcast, but it's okay to dislike him because he's a male, and probably white. I, on the other hand, am respected, nay, loved, by my baitshop cronies, who are all prodigiously endowed, both intellectually and physically...

    Translation: The sexual tension between us was intense. It was clear that, even though I was old enough to be his grandfather, this teenager wanted my body...

    Translation: He kicked sand in my face, just like in the Charles Atlas ads in the comic books that I read for my master's thesis on "Wolverine as a paradigm of the white male's alienation in the age of Reagan."

    Translation: I demonstrated my manhood and the lad was taken aback. I could almost see the huge text over my head, reading "Hero of the beach!"

    Translation: I was later approached by a female co-worker. She also has two masters' degrees, one in tantric practices, another in advanced yoga positions for the overly endowed woman, and a body that just won't quit...

    Translation: She was truly grateful and her desire was obvious. She felt my bicep and said that I was a real man after all...

    Translation: Especially geriatric bait shop employees with an encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture references and two masters' degrees.

    Translation: I'm lying through my teeth. Pity me.
    Do you know how hard it is to get Dr Pepper out of a laptop?:p
    Reply With Quote  
     

  7. #17  
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    333
    Quote Originally Posted by Ree View Post
    How does someone with "two master’s degrees and 20 years negotiating $ multi-million deals with international companies" end up workin at the mini-mart?
    He invested with Bernie Mandoof,..........yeah, that's the ticket:D
    Reply With Quote  
     

  8. #18  
    CU's Tallest Midget! PoliCon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Pittsburgh PA
    Posts
    25,328
    Quote Originally Posted by Odysseus View Post
    Ah, but this needs parsing, because it's not so much a bouncy letter as it is a sad, pathetic cry for attention and proof of manhood. In fact, it reads more like a wish fulfillment fantasy letter for a certain men's magazine. Let's parse this a bit, shall we?

    Translation: Dear Penthouse Forum, I never believed those letters of yours, but this really happened to me. I'm a bait shop employee with two masters' degrees and twenty years of experience with multinational corporations, and hung like a horse...

    Translation: He's an outcast, but it's okay to dislike him because he's a male, and probably white. I, on the other hand, am respected, nay, loved, by my baitshop cronies, who are all prodigiously endowed, both intellectually and physically...

    Translation: The sexual tension between us was intense. It was clear that, even though I was old enough to be his grandfather, this teenager wanted my body...

    Translation: He kicked sand in my face, just like in the Charles Atlas ads in the comic books that I read for my master's thesis on "Wolverine as a paradigm of the white male's alienation in the age of Reagan."

    Translation: I demonstrated my manhood and the lad was taken aback. I could almost see the huge text over my head, reading "Hero of the beach!"

    Translation: I was later approached by a female co-worker. She also has two masters' degrees, one in tantric practices, another in advanced yoga positions for the overly endowed woman, and a body that just won't quit...

    Translation: She was truly grateful and her desire was obvious. She felt my bicep and said that I was a real man after all...

    Translation: Especially geriatric bait shop employees with an encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture references and two masters' degrees.

    Translation: I'm lying through my teeth. Pity me.
    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Odysseus again.
    This is why I stopped drinking and typing.
    Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  9. #19  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    FT Belvoir, VA
    Posts
    15,638
    Quote Originally Posted by Aprilrazz View Post
    Do you know how hard it is to get Dr Pepper out of a laptop?:p
    Yes. I recommend compressed air, a ShamWOW, lense paper and a bologna sandwich. The compressed air will blow out the smaller concentrations of liquid in the small parts, the ShamWOW will soak up the excess moisture, the lense paper will clean the screen without scratching, and after a while, you can eat the bologna sandwich.
    Quote Originally Posted by PoliCon View Post
    This is why I stopped drinking and typing.
    You never want to get pulled over for a TUI. :D
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
    Reply With Quote  
     

Bookmarks
Bookmarks
Posting Permissions
  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •