#1 Raccoon Destroys Manhood in Bid To Escape Rape.01-26-2009, 04:50 PMToothy raccoon bit off manhood
By STAFF REPORTER
A FIESTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal. Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.
“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.
Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.
“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal.
“That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with."
01-26-2009, 04:52 PM“Progress is Providence without God. That is, it is a theory that everything has always
perpetually gone right by accident. It is a sort of atheistic optimism, based on an
everlasting coincidence far more miraculous than a miracle.”
G. K. Chesterton
01-26-2009, 04:58 PM
Umm, really not seeing the attraction to a raccoon. I will say way to go to that animal though ;)
01-26-2009, 05:01 PM
how drunk do you have to be to look at a racoon and think - DAMN that's hot . . . .Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
01-26-2009, 05:02 PM
Is that Moscow, FL?;):DI feel that once a black fella has referred to white foks as "honky paleface devil white-trash cracker redneck Caspers," he's abdicated the right to get upset about the "N" word. But that's just me. -- Jim Goad
01-26-2009, 05:19 PM
Oh, who are we to judge?2009 CU Pro Football Pick'em Champ
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
01-26-2009, 08:39 PM
- Join Date
- May 2008
- In my own private Alamo on The Mountain in Georgia
I'm tryin' ta figure out if the guy was weird or not....
Was it a male or a female racoon?Hey careful man! There's a beverage here!
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