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  1. #1 Headlines from 2020 
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Central Florida
    I came across this and thought is was pretty good:

    • Statue of Liberty renamed "Statue of Government"
    • Attorney-General Ayers rolls out "Adopt a Capitalist Pig" program, in which proletarian recipient of reparation payments can select donor
    • Microsoft moves its last U.S. facility to Shanghai; CNN slams "the Bush economic legacy"
    • President Murtha orders provisional withdrawal of U.S. troops from pacified sectors of Utah, Idaho, and Wyoming
    • Vermont man beaten to death by angry mob for placing aluminum can in paper recycling bin
    • Debate continues in Congress over national family income limit; Sen. Joe-the-Plumber (R-Ohio) argues that $20K may be too low
    • Saudis unhappy with allotment of only 50 seats in Congress; threaten to pull plug on financing of Democrat Party
    • New York Rangers goalie struck in mammary gland by flying puck; sues opposing male player for sexual harassment
    • World Court nullifies U.S. Constitution's Fourteenth "Equal Protection" Amendment, alleging it conflicts with right of oppressed to seek compensation
    • Obama memoirs added to reading list of Harvard's "Great Texts of Western Civilization" course
    • Man eaten alive by work of art at Brooklyn Museum's "Living Animal Collage" exhibit
    • Time Magazine's "Victim of the Year" award goes to a paraplegic pygmy lesbian retarded Muslim domestically-abused welfare mother with breast cancer and AIDS
    • Proliferation of icebergs in northern Atlantic threatens shipping; Al Gore blames secret ice-making machine in basement of Fox News
    • Greenpeace apologizes for death of 26 children after cute orphaned polar bears were released on Puget Sound
    • Farmer in Scotland sentenced to five years in prison for insulting burglar's choice of firearm
    • 300 American tourists rounded up and shot in Indonesia; Secretary of State Reid dispatched to Jakarta to engage in "constructive dialogue"
    • Canadian Human Rights Commission rules that a f_ee pre_s is d_ngerous f_r the pe_ple
    • Boston City Council mandates that geographic distribution of restaurants must be proportional to percentage of each ethnic group in population
    • French President Mohammed Abu-Gauche deports Parisian gay pride protesters to San Francisco
    • Another glass ceiling shattered: The transgendered Micronesian field marshal, Fudgadunga Flukaka, appointed secretary-general of the United Nations

    Last edited by AHeneen; 01-28-2009 at 05:35 AM.
    "Because we're a great nation, our challenges seem complex; it will always be this way. But as long as we remember our first principals and believe in ourselves, the future will always be ours." -Reagan
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