“Republicans won’t have the luxury they did in the House of voting no and still letting it pass,” Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY) said about the economic stimulus package set to hit the Senate floor this week on “Face the Nation.”
“This will pass with Republican votes because it is a good package and we will make some changes around the edges,” Schumer said. On those “changes,” Schumer said there are “little things” that will come out of the final package because Republicans can make amendments on the floor. “This is serious, serious stuff,” he asserted and said he hopes Senate Minority Leader does not do what House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) did in the House and just “say no.”
“President Obama has been involved in this in a very forceful way,” Senator Schumer said. “It is a smoke screen “ to say that the president’s bill is different than the House of Representatives’ bill. Bob Schieffer asked how many Republicans he can count on to vote for the bill to which Mr. Schumer said, “I think we will get enough Republicans to pass this, the more the better.” “I would rather have a really good bill that helps our economy get out of this mess with sixty five votes than dilute the bill and get eighty votes,” he admitted.
Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
“Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
“A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
“Q. Where will the government get this money?
“A. From taxpayers.
“Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
“A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.
“Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
“A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
“Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
“A. Shut up.”
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, Chile, and Guatemala.
If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea.
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it
at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.