Hey World! I'm too stupid to use a frigging can opener!

**asdf2231** · 02-23-2009, 03:14 PM

http://www.democraticunderground.com...ss=105x8547540

underpants (1000+ posts) Mon Feb-23-09 08:07 AM
Original message
BAD NEWS this morning- no pineapples for my daughter for breakfast
We have one of those "top end" can openers-it takes off the top so there is no jagged edge
and my wife hasn't shown me how to work it

I tried to figure it out yesterday (on both sides of the can) no luck

This is no surprise, it took me two weeks to figure out how my sunglasses worked
Running/biking shades with vents at the top for body heat (highly recommended) and I could figure out how to change out the lenses
turns out the instructions were in the carrying case

:eek:

suninvited (1000+ posts) Mon Feb-23-09 08:25 AM
Response to Original message
2. Just attach it to the top of the can
and push the button. It will start on its own. When it stops, remove it.

underpants (1000+ posts) Mon Feb-23-09 08:41 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. Now this isn't one of those Gizmo thingies
we have one of those somewhere in the house-never hooked it up

this is a hand crank dealie but I can't figure out how to make it do the actual can OPENING

HopeHoops (1000+ posts) Mon Feb-23-09 08:38 AM
Response to Original message
3. Get the Dole pineapple chunks in the plastic jar with the lid
It has the same peel-off plastic seal that the snack cups use and keeps them sealed up with a screw on lid. Bonus: no can opener problems!

Note for the record that there were no "Sarcasm" tags on this post. It was offered as genuinely helpful advice. :D

**linda22003** · 02-23-2009, 03:51 PM

We had one that my husband (

) picked out, which went along the side of the can instead of the top, and supposedly prevented sharp edges. It certainly did, because I could not attach it in a way that produced ANY edges. He bought a regular one when he couldn't find the fancy new one, which I had thrown away several days earlier.

**Gingersnap** · 02-23-2009, 03:55 PM

Unless you had a disability of some sort, why would you use an electric can opener? It takes like 5 seconds or less to open any can.

**biccat** · 02-23-2009, 05:20 PM

Sorry, but I think this line:

This is no surprise, it took me two weeks to figure out how my sunglasses worked

really takes the cake.

Yes, I understand what he was saying in context, but I figured I would play by DU's rules and take everything out of context.

underpants obviously has a lower IQ than a jar of mayonaise.

**Moon** · 02-23-2009, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by linda22003

We had one that my husband (

) picked out, which went along the side of the can instead of the top, and supposedly prevented sharp edges. It certainly did, because I could not attach it in a way that produced ANY edges. He bought a regular one when he couldn't find the fancy new one, which I had thrown away several days earlier.

Best laugh of the day! :D

**Moon** · 02-23-2009, 09:10 PM

Originally Posted by biccat

Sorry, but I think this line:

really takes the cake.

Yes, I understand what he was saying in context, but I figured I would play by DU's rules and take everything out of context.

underpants obviously has a lower IQ than a jar of mayonaise.

Maybe so, but I bet he can't open that either.

**PoliCon** · 02-23-2009, 09:16 PM

Okay - who here is HONESTLY surprised that someone from DU has trouble figuring out the most basic concepts and things? Anyone?? Is anyone at all surprised that a DUmmy has trouble understanding basic concepts and tools?

**AlmostThere** · 02-24-2009, 02:32 AM

Originally Posted by Gingersnap

Unless you had a disability of some sort, why would you use an electric can opener? It takes like 5 seconds or less to open any can.

An electric can-opener costs, what, $10, $15, maybe $20. A hand crank costs a couple bucks, tops. Aren't these the folks who try to outdo each other on how bad off they have it?

**3rd-try** · 02-24-2009, 08:22 AM

HopeHoops (1000+ posts) Mon Feb-23-09 08:38 AM
Response to Original message
3. Get the Dole pineapple chunks in the plastic jar with the lid
It has the same peel-off plastic seal that the snack cups use and keeps them sealed up with a screw on lid. Bonus: no can opener problems

Heaven forbid! Won't these plastic containers just collect in our trash dumps for thousands of years and eventually find their way to the ocean where they'll choke baby seals?

**linda22003** · 02-24-2009, 08:38 AM

Originally Posted by Moon

Best laugh of the day! :D

Hey, have you ever tried one of those? They're awful. The standard hand-crank kind is just fine, especially the OXO brand with the comfortable handles. My husband had no trouble with going back to the old kind, he said the new side opener was "too noisy" (meaning, I yapped a lot about it).