This was from SR's mom. :D
ITALIAN GRANDMA'S ADVICE
A young Italian girl was going on a date. Her Nonna said: "Sita Here Ana letame tella you about those-a younga boys. He's agonna try Ana kiss you, you are agonna likea dat, but don't let him do that. He's agonna try Ana kiss your breasts, you are agonna likea dat too, but don'ta let him do that. But most important, he's agonna try Ana lay on topa you, you are agonna likea dat, but don'ta let him do that. Doing thata willa disgraca the family.
With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date. The Next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted: "Nonna, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced HIS family!"