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  1. #1 What is this Economic Stimulus you speak of? 
    Senior Member Rebel Yell's Avatar
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    I started to post this in Humor, but there is just too much truth in there to really be a joke.


    ECONOMIC STIMULUS PAYMENT

    This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.
    This is a very exciting new program and will explain using the Q and
    A format.


    Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

    A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


    Q. Where will the government get this money?

    A. From taxpayers.


    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

    A. Only a smidgen.


    Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

    A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition
    TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China and S.Korea?

    A. Shut up.
    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending
    your stimulus check wisely:


    If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .

    If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.

    If you purchase a computer it will go to India .

    If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico,Honduras, and
    Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

    If you buy a car it will go to Japan .

    If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .

    And none of it will help the American economy.

    We need to keep that money here in America . You can keep the money
    in America by spending it at yard sales, Lotto, Casinos, going to a
    baseball game, or spend it on massage parlor, prostitutes, beer
    (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
    I feel that once a black fella has referred to white foks as "honky paleface devil white-trash cracker redneck Caspers," he's abdicated the right to get upset about the "N" word. But that's just me. -- Jim Goad
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  2. #2  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebel Yell View Post
    I started to post this in Humor, but there is just too much truth in there to really be a joke.
    You forgot bourbon! Buy American! Jack Daniels rules! It's as American as baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and fixed percentage of every domestically made automobile! :D
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  3. #3  
    Senior Member Rebel Yell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Odysseus View Post
    You forgot bourbon! Buy American! Jack Daniels rules! It's as American as baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and fixed percentage of every domestically made automobile! :D
    Call me crazy, but I've never liked Jack, or Crown for that matter. I'm a SoCo man, myself.:D
    I feel that once a black fella has referred to white foks as "honky paleface devil white-trash cracker redneck Caspers," he's abdicated the right to get upset about the "N" word. But that's just me. -- Jim Goad
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  4. #4  
    Senior Member enslaved1's Avatar
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    You are absolutely right, there is way too much truth in that to be a joke.
    Romans 6:18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

    Differences between Obama and God: God's plan to save us is actually written down for people to read. Rush Limbaugh.

    My blog: How Things Look From Here Politics, religion, random stuff, now on Wednesdays!
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  5. #5  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebel Yell View Post
    Call me crazy, but I've never liked Jack, or Crown for that matter. I'm a SoCo man, myself.:D
    Personally, I like Gentleman Jack and Jack Daniels Single Barrel, both of which compare nicely to most single malt scotches, but are generally cheaper.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  6. #6  
    Senior Member tacitus's Avatar
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    Nothing but the best.
    "If every poor man is to come here and start requesting money for all his children, the applicants will never be satisfied and the nation's finances will collapse." Emperor Tiberius: Tacitus:Annals




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  7. #7  
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    Actually, you can stimulate the economy buy buying from American small businesses. Even purchases from your Avon lady, your local mechanic, your local handyman, can help stimulate the AMERICAN economy.
    Last edited by Elspeth; 04-10-2009 at 01:50 PM.
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