#1 Hair-Stripping Fungus Threatens Future of Judo and Sumo
04-15-2009, 12:17 AM
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
Martial artists felled by itchy foot to the head
Japanese academics have warned that the national sports of sumo and judo are under threat of extinction because of the rapid spread of a fungal infection that is making participants' hair fall out.The All Japan Judo Federation has commissioned research into the spread of Trichophyton tonsurans, The Times reports, amidst fears that it is sapping the strength of the nation's martial artists.The fungal infection is similar to athlete's foot, but causes itchy red pathes on the neck, face and upper body, and can attack the hair follicles, causing icky flakes and ultimately baldness.
Unsurprisingly, the fungus has spread like wildfire through a sport that centres on close-quarter grappling, throwing and choking, rather than the more theatrical long distance kicking and striking found in other martial arts. A third of adult judo clubs and half of high school teams have been affected, and there are fears that the country's entire judo sector could be wiped out if the fungus is not obliterated first.
Striking even deeper at the Japanese psyche, the fungus is rife amongst sumo wrestlers, with baldness not even an option amongst the top-knotted man mountain practitioners.This could leave ju-jitsu, judo's somewhat rougher ancestor, as the sole grappling art in Japan, if only because it augments the throwing and grappling of judo with punching, kicking, gouging and the use of weapons, making hair loss the least of its practioners' worries.
04-15-2009, 12:41 AM
I didn't even know sumo wrestlers had hair. Their enormous fatness had my entire attention.
Besides, all those mixed martial art guys are bald anyway. Why can't the judo guys just shave their heads?
04-15-2009, 01:50 PM
oh noes11!!!11!!!!!!!111!!!!!! Sumo is in danger? Where is Godzilla when you need him???Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
04-16-2009, 01:42 AM
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
04-16-2009, 11:49 AM
This fungus could actually be of value as a natural depilatory. We need to match the sumo trials by experimenting on fat women. Is Rosie O'Donnell available for a double blind study?
Note that a double blind study in this case would conform to Rodney Dangerfield's definition of a "two-bagger," a woman so ugly that you wear a bag over your own head in case the one over her head breaks. :D--Odysseus
Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.
Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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