#1 A glossary of Republican doublespeak05-11-2009, 05:47 PM
Republican doublspeak dictionary
The Republican universe is a bit topsy-turvy, rather like the one created by Lewis Carroll in "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." In that story, the Queen of Hearts did not restrict herself to the generally accepted meaning of words. When she used a word, she said, it meant exactly what she wanted it to mean, no more and no less. It was good to be queen.
And, until recently, it was good to be Republican. They held the White House, and their top guys had most of the money and consequently got most of the tax breaks. Yet they still felt aggrieved and put upon, stalked by demon Democrats who didn't understand their fundamental goodness or the language they were speaking.
People who don't dwell in the land of Republicans might become confused upon hearing the alternative English they speak. Republican is a tough language, but with application and study, you, too, can learn it:
Some of these are right on, like...
Energy policy: Drill, baby, drill.
Gore, Al: Democrat presidential candidate and sore loser who concocted the myth of global warming just to steal joy from the Republicans who beat him.
Obama, Barack: Inept, inexperienced and inarticulate Negro man elected to the highest office in the biggest mistake the American electorate ever made.
Poor: People born lacking the gene that creates a solid work ethic, but with an excess number of genes that prompt whining.Romans 6:18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
Differences between Obama and God: God's plan to save us is actually written down for people to read. Rush Limbaugh.
My blog: How Things Look From Here Politics, religion, random stuff, now on Wednesdays!
05-11-2009, 07:38 PM
Heh, saw something just like it at TownHall from Debra Saunders! Good stuff!
Extremists: Abortion opponents.
Fox News: Unlike CNN, biased news network.
Global warming: An apocalyptic theory that every scientist believes in -- except dissenting scientists who don't count -- best bemoaned from one's Gulf Stream jet en route to an international conference on the environment.
God: What people in small towns clung to before Obama won the White House. See: guns, anti-immigrant or anti-trade beliefs.
Health care costs: A spiraling chunk of the U.S. economy that can be reduced by providing health care to all Americans. Really.
Homeland security: Gun control.
: Grow your own dope. Plant a liberal.
Obummercare, 20 percent of the time it works everytime.
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