Maybe I missed the point because I am foul-mouthed and believe ardently in political incorrectness. Or maybe I just represent the next big thing – a sort of family values campaign on Viagra without the sexually explicit advertising. Forget about dueling bathtubs, this is about the fight between good and evil. Bring it on, baby. ‘Cause I’m ready.
Yes, we are the silent generation silent no more. We took Jimmy Carter like a horny bitch drunk on a fifth of Jack Daniels asleep in the park on Saturday night. And the kids would pass by on their way home from the prom and tsk tsk her and think how much better they were for not knowing who she was and what led her to her ultimate demise on prom night. Yes, right smack dab in the park – alone and uncared for – makeup smeared, runs in her pantyhose, and generally flat ass out on her luck at the ripe old age of 18 without so much as a pot to piss in.
That’s me in many ways. I see myself in that portrait of doom we all seem to want to live in yet dare do so – for oh my goodness, what might the neighbors thinketh …. That’s what I feel on the inside, which is as though my outside is my inside and vice versa. It isn’t so much that my life is in reverse order but rather that life itself is in reverse while I am trying to swim upstream and make it my goal in life. Ah yes, the nirvana of the almighty om and the great exaltation of the gods and all things mighty and wondrous heaped my little shoulders. Truly I am at one with the universe.
But this is not me speaking, you see. This is the voice of a generation that believed in all things good and perfect and straight and loving only to find that things are not straight and often not loving at all. Sometimes life is not good and isn’t bound up in nice neat little packages like mommy used to do for your birthday. Sometimes the world is just plain fucked up, and nobody told me. Now what?
My way of life is the practical way. In other words, I’m not trying to please people by reciting things that sound good on the surface but in fact are really unachievable. We would all like to achieve nirvana and love and peace and all that stuff, but the bottom line is that people have been fighting for the limited resources on planet Earth since the advent of recorded history. It’s all the same old story in each succeeding generation, and so who the hell are we to try to disengage ourselves from this natural evolutionary process? Did the tooth fairy actual descend from the clouds and touch us with her wand and make us special all of a sudden? I think not.
That’s what pisses me off so much these days. For some ungodly reason I have to walk outside my door thinking whether people love me or not and whether I love them, too. I’m supposed to imagine windmills lining my street all linked together by a giant cable where little cable cars go halfway to the stars while children suck on lollipops in complete bliss (knowing that Michael Jackson is gone of course). Oh gosh, if there was anyone who would ever be a candidate to believe this stuff then that would be me. But there is something inside me called a conscience that talks to me in very straightforward and unblemished ways. It says to me, ‘don’t be an idiot’. This angers me but awakens me at the same time since this is me talking to me. And in the end I am grateful beyond words.