Thread: Let's cap and trade oxygen!
#1 Let's cap and trade oxygen!
07-06-2009, 06:39 PM
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
Enough already with carbon cap and trade. I say let's cap oxygen, and then tax any family that can't achieve the Average Family Oxygen Target of 80% BOOTS (Before Obama Oxygen Trading Scheme).
Remember, if you weren't inhaling all that O2 you wouldn't be belching out clouds of noxious CO2. Yuck. Yes, I know oil refineries smell bad and coal looks dirty. But none of that carbon would ever see the light of day if it weren't for all the oxygen you suck in, you greed bucket. So let's get down to root causes.
Here's the goal. If we can only get five billion people around the world to breathe 20% less oxygen per person, we would Save the Planet from Global Warming. Just like that!
Twenty percent less O2 going into your body means 20% less CO2 out-gassing, atom-for-atom. It's just like cutting down the world population by a billion polluting oxygen hogs.
Capping oxygen is actually the hardest part. Once you learn to cut down your intake, we just set up a market to trade official credits for the unbreathed O2 that you could have inhaled but didn't. Let's assume for the sake of planetary computer modeling that you can personally cut down your breathing by 20%. Try it! Just hold your nose and breathe through a straw. And when you get that strangled feeling, just remember you're Saving the Planet. Lay back and think of Paul Krugman.
Did you ever want to lose weight? This is the ecologically responsible way to do it. It's the Oxygen Sparing Diet. If you breathe just one-fifth less oxygen you'll be eating one-fifth less food, because your body uses all that oxygen to metabolize your French fries and fat-burgers. The benefits are out of this world.
Now here's the free market angle. Congress can pass a law stating that if you achieve more than the mandated National O2 Reduction of 20% you will receive an official US Government Oxygen Trading Credit for all the oxygen you did not breathe beyond 20%. It's like price supports for farmers, except that everybody can play. For instance, if you cut your O2 down by 25% you receive a 5% Oxygen Trading Credit, to sell to your huffing and puffing neighbors on a free market basis. If you breathe 30% less, you get a 10% OTC. It's supply and demand!
07-06-2009, 06:55 PM
It would be easier to de-cap politicians.
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