A man drowned in a vat at the brewery. When they tol dhis wife, she asked, "Did he suffer?" His companion replied, "No, he managed to get out and go to the men's room three times before he went under.
A judge glared at a drunk in the lineup and commented, "You've been popping up before me in this court regularly for over twenty years." The drunk answered, "Can I help it if you don't get promoted?"
A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet.
"Does your dog bite?" she asks.
"No" is the reply.
A few moments later the dog bites her leg.
"I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" the woman shrieks indignantly/
"He doesn't, that's not my dog."