Thread: Misty Monday

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  1. #1 Misty Monday 
    Senior Member LibraryLady's Avatar
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    Gloomy day around here. I found out yesterday that a friend of mine died Friday and the funeral is today. I am taking some food but not going to the funeral.

    They say he died of a broken heart. A few years ago his wife was a busy life insurance agent here until people started dying and it became obvious she was pocketing the money, not really getting their policies. He had a good reputation and was devastated. He never was the same.

    TOTD: if someone you know goes through a tragedy or personal embarrassment, do you feel comfortable to help them? Would you just avoid seeing them entirely?



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  2. #2  
    Senior Member DarkScribe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LibraryLady View Post
    Gloomy day around here. I found out yesterday that a friend of mine died Friday and the funeral is today. I am taking some food but not going to the funeral.

    They say he died of a broken heart. A few years ago his wife was a busy life insurance agent here until people started dying and it became obvious she was pocketing the money, not really getting their policies. He had a good reputation and was devastated. He never was the same.

    TOTD: if someone you know goes through a tragedy or personal embarrassment, do you feel comfortable to help them? Would you just avoid seeing them entirely?



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    Wow, what an uplifting topic you have here...but a good one, I suppose. If said person was a good close friend I would "be there" for them. Unless of course the dude got caught dressed in women's lingerie then I would avoid 'em like the plague! :D
    "The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." H.P. Lovecraft in Supernatural Horror in Literature
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  3. #3  
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    It depends on the relationship you have before the event. A coworker's brother died last week in the kind of event that is known as "suicide by cop". I sent a card but did not attend the funeral. It was not because of the way he died, but because the coworker and I really had no relationship before the event, so one was not going to be created because of the event.
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  4. #4  
    It will be another glorious day in Colorful Colorado although we could use those monsoons now.

    TOTD: It would depend on the relationship and the circumstances. I dearly love my best friend but if she blew her family away or bankrupted her family through deception, I don't think I'd "be there" for her on any level.

    Unconditional love has never made any sense to me when it's applied to adults.

    Now, mere embarrassment or humiliation wouldn't keep me away from a friend or relative if I knew that they were victims or truly repentant.
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  5. #5  
    TANSTAAFL. asdf2231's Avatar
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    Sunny and gorgeous here today! Skeeters are still swarming like a scene out of The Mist, but with all the standing water still about from the flooding it was expected. On a plus note the duck and geese hunters are going to have a bumper crop of business come bird season.

    TOTD

    Never really been an issue for me. I have a lot of people in the world that are close to me and who I love. You try to do what you can for the people you love.

    One of my oldest friends embarked on a self destruction world tour a few years back. I was supportive and tried to do what I could to help her out. No embarrassment or un-comfortableness involved. She had been like my sister since we met in high school. And when your family is in trouble, you try to help them out.

    The flip side of that is that she and I no longer talk. She almost killed herself in Costa Rica and was being treated in Austin after the chartered medflight home to the states for the head injuries she sustained falling back wards down a stone circular staircase while drunk and stoned. While in rehab for the fricking brain damage she was sneaking in and drinking a case of beer a day. I told her that I was not going to sit by and watch her kill herself slowly and offered her the use of a gun if she really hated her life that much and wanted to die. But short of that Good Bye and Good Luck.

    I will unhesitatingly do whatever I can to help people I care about regardless of the circumstances UP TO A POINT.
    That point is basically when my support is abused or useless because of the actions of the person involved. After that certain point I walk away completely. My life is too short to spend it mired in the problems of other people who are unwilling to seek or accept help from others to help them try to help themselves.

    Also there are certain problems that are deal breakers. An acquaintance and shooting buddy a couple years back was arrested for having sex with his 17 year old adopted daughter. When he called me up looking for a shoulder to cry on I offered to meet him some place so I could kick him in the balls. He hung up and I never really spared a second thought on how things turned out for him.
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  6. #6  
    Moderator lurkalot's Avatar
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    I will never forget the sound of my friend's voice when she called me to tell me that they had found her twenty year old son's body after he shot himself. Even now, 18 years later, when we talk that night comes back to me. Maybe it does for her to. But I am honored that I could be of some support to her.
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  7. #7  
    Administrator SaintLouieWoman's Avatar
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    TOTD: I'm usually the rock, always there for friends. But if things go on and on and there's no indication that they will ever help themselves, I will back off the support.

    I used to work with a guy whose family had "connections". His relative was being executed. I went out and got a sympathy card. Boy, is that one hard to find. :D I helped him to retrieve some of his personal possessions at the office when he quit/was fired, depending on whom you believe. He really didn't even thank me, and I got in a lot of trouble for helping him, could have been fired myself. After that, I became more wary about helping.
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