Joe Sixpack: The Stupid Drink, defined
By Joe Sixpack
Philadelphia Daily News
Daily News Beer Reporter
IT'S BACK-TO-SCHOOL time, which means it's time for another installment of Joe Sixpack's Freshman Guide to College Beer-Drinking.
I'm going to assume most of you have already completed course work in Intro to Keg-Stands and Basics of ID Forgery. So we'll skip directly to what I hope will become not only a lifelong lesson, but a hip, new term at urbanslang.com: The Stupid Drink.
That's the drink that takes you from a fun night to a night you regret, from being in control to losing it, from drinking to drinking too much.
The Stupid Drink is not my original idea, although Lord knows I've downed my share of idiocy. Instead, it comes from students at the Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University, who coined the term in their winning entry in this year's National Student Advertising Competition.
Their assignment: Develop a campaign to combat dangerous overconsumption of alcohol by college students.
Yet they all know overdrinking when they see (or feel) it. There's a line that's crossed, they agreed, and it's different for every drinker. It may be a feeling, a situation, an environment, a number or a specific form of alcohol.
That's the Stupid Drink.
The problem for students is recognizing their own Stupid Drink before taking that decisive sip.
One of the best ways to avoid the Stupid Drink is to set a limit before you crack open the first one. Count your drinks and stick with it. No one ever regretted not drinking one more.
Pace yourself. Alternate between beer and water.
And what if you ignore your pregame plans? How do you know if you're about to drink your Stupid Drink?
Put down your cup now if:
_ You can't taste your beer.
_ You are staring at yourself with a stupid grin in the bathroom mirror.
_ Your shot is on fire.
_ You're slurring your words.
_ You're dancing with an inanimate object.
_ You're standing in front of a tattoo shop.
_ Someone just ordered the second round of kamikazes.
_ You just told someone, "I love you, man."
_ A friend tells you that you've had enough