#1 Satire07-16-2008, 01:29 PM
Sprawling Factory Built In Oregon, But No One Knows What They Make, Including The Workers — Stock is way up!
The Acme Techno Widget Corporation's vast plant.
A new start up company, The Acme Techno Widget Corporation, has built a big factory and warehouse in Hoboken, Oregon. Nearly a thousand people have gotten good paying jobs and local civic leaders as well as the workers are beaming. “In an era when most manufacturing jobs have been shipped overseas we welcome this new factory,” said AFL-CIO representative Chesnut Buguildifrut.
Hoboken Mayor Jelbert McStunkoil stated that, “The Acme Techno Widgit Corporation is setting a great example for American companies. This fantastic company is putting Americans back to work in the manufacturing sector and revitalizing American industry.”
But there is something very peculiar about this factory. No one can really say for sure what they are producing. Including that people that work there.
“It is really a mystery as to what we are doing in there,” said worker Elvid Mansood. “But the management is well organized and the pay checks come through, so I can't complain,”
We talked with Rupert Herfiscold as he walked out of the factory gate from his job as a day shift forman. We asked him what he did in the factory all day. “We moved around empty boxes to make way for possible future merchandise. Then we prepped several loading zones and staging areas for possible utilization.”
We asked Acme Techno Widget spokesman Elford Istonbull if the company is planning on manufacturing any products in the future. “For now we are being productive with our present product which is preparing for a possible product manufacturing engagement. Our core products are quite profitable in the current market environment and we do not foresee further product expansion in the foreseeable future. We are more interested in expanding production of our current product line.”
“And what is exactly is your current product line?” We asked.
“We are primarily involved in expanding our product line expansion preparation as a main product. So while we are keeping to one product it is a product that has big potential growth possibilities.”
: “It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.”
” I wondered why the rock was getting larger. Then it hit me.
noonwitchGuest07-16-2008, 05:50 PM
Isn't that who I send away for Road Runner removal systems that don't work?
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