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  1. #1 Hey-la hey-la my girlfriend's back 
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    This morning, when I came to CU, after driving to Podunk, CT with my girlfriend (actually she drove, I supervised), I was shocked and devastated to find that our relationship was over -- we were done -- finito -- no mas -- slip out the back, Jack:

    Quote Originally Posted by lackshisnuts View Post
    ...
    Your ex [mail order baltic] girlfriend left your cheating ass. Good thing you did not buy her that BMW. Next time you want to teach someone to drive, enroll them in a driving school, dummy. You got another mail order one in the works. Buuuuaaaaahhhhaaaaa....
    Since my girlfriend is neither "mail order" nor is she Baltic, I was at first perplexed. However, upon consideration the school system in Pickyunose, I concluded that if one couldn't distinquish between your girlfriend, your cousin, or your sister, it was doubtful that one could distinquish between Latvia and Croatia.

    You can imagine my devastation as I wistfully looked over the coffee table and saw her lipstick on the cup from which she had drank her coffee. In my despair, memories of a happier time flooding back to me like a tidal wave, all I could think was "WTF, doesn't this broad know we have a dishwasher!" I noticed her dainty shoes that once housed her pedicured toes supported by her well-turned ankle, sitting in the living room and gloomily remembered the last time...well, perhaps we should move on.

    Well, since my baby left me,
    I found a new place to dwell.
    Its down at the end of lonely street
    At heartbreak hotel.

    You make me so lonely baby,
    I get so lonely,
    I get so lonely I could die.
    So, I determined to get my girlfriend back, taking the advice of the Mowzurri Gentleman Millionaire. First, given my balding pate, I decided to get hair implants. But then I looked something like...


    A bit frustrated, and still conscious of my "Napoleanic stature," I decided upon lifts. But then I looked something like this...


    Now I was extremely frustrated and completely unsure of the path through which I could win my true love back. Despite an urge to consult Kenny Chesney, I went to Hollywood and Vine for adivce, but they could only provide me with "Revolution," not any love advice. Desparate, I sought the advice of the LA Gentlemen Scourge of the Feminazis. He advised an extreme makeover with which I complied.

    And then, and then, and then (thanks, Brother Dave), my girlfriend called and said those lovely words to me, "Pick me up at 6:00." My world was restored and all was right with this mortal coil.

    Hey-la hey-la my girlfriend's back
    That's her Harley sitting out in the schoolyard
    Hey-la hey-la my girlfriend's back
    You're gonna wish you never called me a retard
    Hey-la hey-la my girlfriend's back
    Cause you thought you were so funny
    Now look who's got your lunch money
    You've been spreading lies that I contracted cooties
    And now my girl is gonna kick your little bootie
    Wait and see
    If you wanna see your Mom we'll need some compensation
    Hey-la hey-la my girlfriend's bac)
    So, I went to pick up my baby. I leaped from the (rental) car and embraced my girlfriend, back after an interminable absence of 7 hours! She pulled back and looked at me and then it was when I cursed the Pickyunose Sage. She stared and stared...


    And now I cry because...

    Well, since my baby left me,
    I found a new place to dwell.
    Its down at the end of lonely street
    At heartbreak hotel.

    You make me so lonely baby,
    I get so lonely,
    I get so lonely I could die.
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  2. #2  
    Member Tantal's Avatar
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    Whiskey....Tango.... Foxtrot, over.
    I'd rather have a daughter in a whorehouse than a son in the University of Texas.
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  3. #3  
    Moderator lurkalot's Avatar
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    Isn't your girlfriend a dentist? She belongs to the dark side
    I don't want to hear about her anymore ever, or at least until I am done with oral surgery

    that said, this is one weird thread..whatcha smokin?
    I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
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  4. #4  
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    Sorry, all. There are some in the know. For those not, check out this thread, post #10 and following...

    Lackshisnuts can't believe people have sex over 100 times in their lives!
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  5. #5  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tantal View Post
    Whiskey....Tango.... Foxtrot, over.
    Nanu, nanu! :D
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  6. #6  
    Administrator SaintLouieWoman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lurkalot View Post
    Isn't your girlfriend a dentist? She belongs to the dark side
    I don't want to hear about her anymore ever, or at least until I am done with oral surgery

    that said, this is one weird thread..whatcha smokin?
    He's merely being his usual arrogant self, making fun of Southerners who live in Pogoville.
    http://http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r231/SarasotaRepub/83069bcc.png

    " To the world you are just one more person, but to a rescued pet, you are the world."

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    A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves!"


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  7. #7  
    Resident Unliked Meanie Shannon's Avatar
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    It was a scotch night, wasn't it?:p
    Loyalty Binds Me- Motto of Richard III
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  8. #8  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shannon View Post
    It was a scotch night, wasn't it?:p
    Perhaps just a wee bit! :D

    On edit: However, after re-reading the post, it hangs together pretty well. The progression from "Heartbreak Hotel" through the parody song, "My [boy]girlfriend's back" to "Heartbreak Hotel" works well enough. The "Love Potion #9" morphing into "Revolution #9" didn't work as well as, although it's clever, it doesn't fit the context.

    Overall, structurally in the progression, particularly culminating in the Pogo picture, I think it works well. The details, the variation in tone, and the sort of random cleverness, detracted from the entirity.
    Last edited by Cold Warrior; 07-17-2008 at 09:26 AM.
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  9. #9  
    Moderator lurkalot's Avatar
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    my head hurts
    I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
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  10. #10  
    Quote Originally Posted by lurkalot View Post
    my head hurts
    Not as much as his, I'll bet. ;)
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