Public School Teacher Arrested in New York
NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F.
Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight
while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide
rule and a calculator..
At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," the AG said. "They desire solutions
by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of
"They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y', and refer to
themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to
a common denominator, the axis of medieval with coordinates in every
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides
to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God
had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would
have given us more fingers and toes."