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  1. #1 I breastfeed my dog 
    CU's Tallest Midget! PoliCon's Avatar
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    I breastfeed my dog

    Monday 4th January 2010

    How do you stop your dog from barking? Breastfeed her, of course. It worked for Suzanne Morgan, 32, anyway.

    It was sod's law. I'd just got my daughter, Tasha, off to sleep, now, my dog, Dixie, was barking like mad to be fed. I opened the kitchen cupboard, only to see there wasn't a single tin of dog food left. I felt like crying. Worst of all, I knew Dixie wouldn't shut up until she'd filled her stomach.
    'We must have something,' I said, as I peered inside the fridge.
    Then I spotted the bottles of breast milk I'd expressed earlier that day.

    Admittedly, Tasha, 17 months, was quite old to still be breastfeeding, but I loved the bond it gave us, so I'd decided to carry on. It was free, too, which was good, because since I'd split up with her dad, Ted Collins, 35, when she was 3 months old, money was tight.
    I'd always produced more milk than Tasha could drink, so I'd got into the habit of keeping some in the fridge for when I left her with a babysitter.
    I stared at the milk and then back at Dixie. I couldn't, could I?
    But her barking deafened me.
    'What's the worst that can happen?' I said, grabbing one of the bottles and pouring it in her bowl.
    Dixie sniffed her bowl, and in no time at all, she'd lapped it up. I started to wonder.

    Was I the only one who fed breast milk to a dog? I got on the internet, and within minutes I'd found no end of women who'd breastfed dogs, cats, even pigs. A lot of them didn't just pour the milk into their pet's bowls, they let them suckle at their breasts, too.
    'Oh my God,' I gasped, as I looked at a photo of a woman with a cat suckling on her boob.
    Surely that was unhygienic? Not to mention painful?
    But the more I read, the more normal it seemed.
    It's almost as rewarding as feeding a baby, one woman had written.

    That night, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Clearly, Dixie liked my milk.
    So a few nights later, after I'd fed Tasha, Dixie jumped on the settee and I held my left
    boob towards her. I squeezed out some milk, and wiped it around my nipple.
    Within seconds, her long, pink tongue was gently licking my skin.
    It tickled at first, but then, as she started suckling away, it didn't feel much different to having Tasha there.
    'You liked that, didn't you girl?' I said, as she gently pawed my chest.
    Despite having a mouthful of sharp teeth, she didn't bite me and 10 minutes later, I gently pulled her off.

    I was itching to tell someone about it.
    But how? My mum, Jane, 62, and my mates would think I'd gone mad. So I kept it to myself.
    But to be on the safe side, I rang the doctor and told him. He went quiet.
    'I-I suppose there isn't a risk if they're both healthy…' he stammered.
    That put my mind at rest. That lunchtime, I let Tasha feed from my left breast, then Dixie from my right. I disinfected myself afterwards. I didn't expect everyone to be quite so open-minded, though.

    So I didn't tell my boyfriend of one month, Paul Murphy, 33.
    On 15 October, I missed my period and was thrilled to find out I was pregnant.
    Sadly, things didn't work out with me and Paul, so after four months together, we split.
    Two months on, Tasha isn't feeding any more, so it's a relief to have Dixie sucking some of the milk out of my swollen boobs.
    I still feed her twice a day for 20 minutes a time.

    My baby's due in June and I'll stop breastfeeding Dixie when I'm three months pregnant. Then I'll express milk for her and start breastfeeding her again once the baby reaches 4 months. Yes, it's weird. But it works for us.

    Dixie, Tasha and I are happy, so you can think what you like, but I reckon you shouldn't knock it 'til you've tried it!
    Yes there is pic goodness at the link . . .

    http://www.pickmeupmagazine.co.uk/re...le_293284.html

    Florida has NOTHING on those brits!
    Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
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  2. #2  
    PORCUS STAPHUS ADMIN Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Does your mommy know what your using the computer for?
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  3. #3  
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    Shit like that is the reason I do not go to DU. I don't want any of that insanity to rub off.:eek::eek::eek:

    Next week she will be having sex with Fido.
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  4. #4  
    CU's Tallest Midget! PoliCon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rockntractor View Post
    Does your mommy know what your using the computer for?
    If by Mommy you mean Mrs. Con she's sleeping. Contentedly. I made sure I put several smiles on her face before she went to sleep.

    I think I sprained my tongue though . . . .:(
    Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
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  5. #5  
    CU's Tallest Midget! PoliCon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lacarnut View Post
    Shit like that is the reason I do not go to DU. I don't want any of that insanity to rub off.:eek::eek::eek:

    Next week she will be having sex with Fido.
    did you see the picture? I'm not sure they're different species . . . . I'm not even sure LARS would hit that!
    Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
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  6. #6  
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    Quote Originally Posted by PoliCon View Post
    did you see the picture? I'm not sure they're different species . . . . I'm not even sure LARS would hit that!
    No, I did not look at the picture. I figured bleach would not get the red out.

    On edit, you are an asshole for getting my curiosity up and looking.
    Last edited by lacarnut; 01-17-2010 at 02:09 AM.
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  7. #7  
    PORCUS STAPHUS ADMIN Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PoliCon View Post
    did you see the picture? I'm not sure they're different species . . . . I'm not even sure LARS would hit that!
    I am not even tempted to see the picture and only read two or three lines. I know bestiality exists but I really am not interested in any of the details.
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  8. #8  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rockntractor View Post
    I am not even tempted to see the picture and only read two or three lines. I know bestiality exists but I really am not interested in any of the details.
    Don't. Take my word for it.
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  9. #9  
    PORCUS STAPHUS ADMIN Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Dammit Poli your toast!:eek:
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  10. #10  
    Senior Member AlmostThere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PoliCon View Post
    did you see the picture? I'm not sure they're different species . . . . I'm not even sure LARS would hit that!
    GOD is going to severely punish you for this, ya know. You just HAD to share that link, didn't you? I'm not sure how many years I have left, but I'm sure I will be TRAUMATIZED for each and every one of them. :eek::eek:
    Better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
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