Thread: How Chav Are You? Quiz.

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  1. #11  
    Senior Member Ree's Avatar
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    You are 53% chav!


    i don't have a clue what it means..
    But I already have a souped up car with a spoiler...;)
    Say what ya mean and get to the point quick....I don't have the attention span to listen to bullshit...

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  2. #12  
    Super Moderator bijou's Avatar
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    Chav

    Derived from Chatham in Kent, this term can be applied loosely to every culture with a nasty, thieving element. There are many variants of this creature but all are subject to the following commonalities:

    Chavs are completely Amoral, having never been subjected to right and wrong by their inattentive, uncaring and often absent parents.

    Chavs are part Magpie, evidentially supported by their love of all things shiny, or as vaccuous, illiterate street-slang would say 'Bling'. They can be seen twokking from the Jewelry counter in Argos/Index.

    Whatever their ethnic background, Chavs have a built-in affinity to hip-hop/R&B, even if they are inherently racist (see the Scottish). They see their life as glamorous and cool.

    Chavs are for the most part, extremely stupid. However, some of them render a form of low cunning, which can be misinterpreted as intelligence. However this is false. A Chav has no desire to better themself through honest means nor learn anything outside of car modification.

    All chavs think that they are nails. Again, this is false. Sitting in a beaten up nova smoking lamberts does not precipitate a healthy body. The irony being that a Chav owns mainly sportswear, yet will only break a sweat if running from the police.

    Chavs are incredibly fertile beasts, and are highly successful breeders. Where they come unstuck is having to look after the offspring which their 13 yr old drunken fumble produces. More often that not the child will crow to be a Chav, having received no more guidance on life than the parent.

    Chavs have a fond love for cars, as well as a Vin Diesel fixation. Rather than buy a nice car to start with, a chav will spend all their dole and tax-free labouring cash on upgrading a 10 year old car with 200,000 miles on the clock. The end product will invariably be a luminous monstrosity with at least one serious collision to it's name.
    Pretty accurate I'd say.
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  3. #13  
    Super Moderator bijou's Avatar
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    You are 11% chav!

    That'll be the ill advised long weekend in Palma, Majorca which tipped me over the 10%, either that or the fact that there used to be a branch of Benjy's next door to my office. :D
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  4. #14  
    Quote Originally Posted by Space Gravy View Post
    Where I live these people would call be called "wiggers" except for the black guy who wouldn't be caught dead hanging around wiggers.

    I can see that there are many fine distinctions between chavs and white trash.

    N.B. - Wiggers and white trash normally don't coexist in the same space outside of jail.
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  5. #15  
    Super Moderator bijou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Space Gravy View Post
    That is Blazin' Squad, a chav boy band.

    MC Spike- E — real name Samuel David Foulkes
    MC Reepa — real name Stuart Baker
    MC Strider — real name Musso Omer
    MC Krazy— real name Lee Bailey
    MC Freek— real name Ollie Georgiou
    MC Melo-D — real name Chris McKeckney
    MC Kenzie — real name James MacKenzie. Kenzie was the runner up in series 3 of Celebrity Big Brother in January 2005.
    MC Plat'num — real name Marcell Sommerville .Changed his name to Plat'num when Blazin' squad split up. MC Plat'num was runner-up in Channel 4's TV show The Games.
    MC Flava — real name James Murray
    DJ Tommy B — real name Tom Beasley.
    As you can see a pretty multi racial bunch.
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  6. #16  
    NeunElfer SuperMod hampshirebrit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    Where I live these people would call be called "wiggers" except for the black guy who wouldn't be caught dead hanging around wiggers.

    I can see that there are many fine distinctions between chavs and white trash.

    N.B. - Wiggers and white trash normally don't coexist in the same space outside of jail.
    I think it's probably fair to say (Bijou can correct me if I'm wrong) that Chavs are the UK's equivalent to WT, with some added variations.

    By the way, the quiz is geared towards making it easy for Chavs to score 100%, since one only needs to answer "yes" to every question in order to do so.
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  7. #17  
    Resident Unliked Meanie Shannon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hampshirebrit View Post

    Everything else on the questionnaire is (I think) reasonably obvious...but do ask if you have questions.
    Own brand? Pot noodle?
    Loyalty Binds Me- Motto of Richard III
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  8. #18  
    Senior Member Ree's Avatar
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    So bein 53% Chav means I'm white trash?:D
    Say what ya mean and get to the point quick....I don't have the attention span to listen to bullshit...

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  9. #19  
    Senior Member Ree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shannon View Post
    Own brand? Pot noodle?
    I took that to mean "store brand" and ramin noodles
    Say what ya mean and get to the point quick....I don't have the attention span to listen to bullshit...

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  10. #20  
    Resident Unliked Meanie Shannon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ree View Post
    I took that to mean "store brand" and ramin noodles
    Oh. I would have scored higher then. I love my Top Ramen!:D
    Loyalty Binds Me- Motto of Richard III
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