Why aren't you on hopium yet?
Hopium helps you forget several unpleasant facts
July 30, 2008
Hi, my name is John. I'm a hopium addict.
It's true. Yes, I'm a journalist. And that led to the harder stuff. Then one day, Barack phoned the Tribune and called me "bro."
Now, I'm addicted to hopium.
So if you're addicted to hopium, or you're worried that your loved ones might fall prey to its power, then please click on this link for the hard left's Moveon.org commercial for Barack Obama
"I never thought it could happen to me," says a shaggy blond-haired surfer dude in the ad, a guy who should have carried a bong.
"I've been living with it for a while now," says a young woman, talking as if she'd contracted a sexually transmitted disease.
For eight years—while the Republicans ran things—they thought hope was gone. Now, they think it's back.
I'm not the only one attending Hope-Heads Anonymous. Millions of us every day—including those 200,000 hope-head Europeans at the Obama rally in Berlin—are caught in its clutches.
One colleague whose blood is clear of hopium watched the Moveon.org ad, and said she wasn't hopeful. Rather, she was disturbed.
"The ad plays on irony, and at the same time, it supports the Obama propaganda about hope," she said. "How is that done? Irony on one hand, while driving the Obama message about hope. It's more than funny."
What is it, then?
"I don't know," she said. "I'm waiting for you to tell me."
I forgot. But then, they don't teach civics in schools anymore, so young people targeted by the Moveon.org ad can't tell me either.
What is this so-called "civics," anyway? Is it a bone near the pelvis? An economy car? Or, is it an Indonesian cat that eats coffee beans from the tree?
Does it matter, really?
Not if you're on hopium.