The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree - and think 25 to life would be appropriate. Jay Leno

America needs Obama-Care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Conan O'Brian

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?A. America. Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. David Letterman

Q: What do Obama and God have in common?
A: Neither has a birth certificate (but God does not think he is Obama)

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