Introducing The Daily Caller’s Offset-Offset Program

[malloc]

For years, you’ve watched helplessly as your neighbors try to erase their eco-sins with something called “carbon offsets” – the modern-day indulgences that rich liberals buy to make themselves feel better about taking NetJets to Sundance every January, or living in an 11,000-square-foot house with nine bathrooms. They may be burning more fossil fuels in a year than Malawi, but by purchasing a certificate that says someone planted ferns on their behalf in the Amazon Basin, these confirmed despoilers of the environment can claim to be “carbon-neutral.” And they do claim it, self-righteously and at every opportunity. It’s infuriating, yet there’s nothing you can do about it.

Until now.

This Earth Day, we at the The Daily Caller are proud to introduce our exclusive Carbon Offset-Offset Program. For a small fee, you can do your part to stop environmental fraud. Here’s how it works:

Each time your neighbor buys a carbon offset, you offset it.

Read More: Introducing The Daily Caller’s Offset-Offset Program

I'm not really sure this qualifies as "news", so I put it up in general. Either way it's comedic gold.

[Gingersnap]

I like this although I guess I'm kind of one of the "bad neighbors". I don't buy offsets but I'm accidentally "greener" than all those holier-than-thou jerks.

I like to think that Mr. Snaps' consuming interest in charcoal grilling offsets my obsessive composting.

[Articulate_Ape]

I like this although I guess I'm kind of one of the "bad neighbors". I don't buy offsets but I'm accidentally "greener" than all those holier-than-thou jerks.

I like to think that Mr. Snaps' consuming interest in charcoal grilling offsets my obsessive composting.

Yeah, I bet they don't gnaw on willow trees when they have a headache coming on. You go girl. :D

[Gingersnap]

Yeah, I bet they don't gnaw on willow trees when they have a headache coming on. You go girl. :D

I'm beyond the salicylic acid/willow twig thing now. I watch virtual aquarium DVDs and drink organic vodka instead. It's more sustainable. :p

[malloc]

I do some green things, but only if they actually save me money. A lot of this green technology does actually save money. Compact fluorescent bulbs in rooms I don't read in, and updated appliances and air conditioners do help a lot on the energy bills which can be substantial in the summertime in Arizona.