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  1. #1 If you're 30 or older. 
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    Just a little fun to lighten the mood..........



    When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways… Yadda, yadda, yadda

    And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
    But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
    And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

    I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

    There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen!
    Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

    Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

    There were no MP3's or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

    Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and **** it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and the tape would come undone..Cause-that's how we rolled, dig?

    We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

    There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror.. And then there's TEXTING. yeah, right. You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

    And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

    We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

    You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel! NO REMOTES!!!

    There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-faces!

    And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

    That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or before!

    Regards,
    The Over 30 Crowd
    Last edited by RockerWolf; 04-26-2010 at 09:20 PM. Reason: Typo
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  2. #2  
    HR Corporate Scum patriot45's Avatar
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    Hell, that ain't humor! That is today to a "T"! The sissification of America! The libs want to sissify it even more!

    A kid can't ride a bike without gearing up like for motocross! There is no more fun at school recess and the list does not end!

    But since this is a humor forum, I'll lighten the rant up! :D

    Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

    They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'

    : “Grow your own dope. Plant a liberal.”
    ” Obummercare, 20 percent of the time it works everytime.
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  3. #3  
    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    Try being 50 or over. Please.
    "The efforts of the government alone will never be enough. In the end the people must choose and the people must help themselves" ~ JFK; from his famous inauguration speech (What Democrats sounded like before today's neo-Liberals hijacked that party)
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  4. #4  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patriot45 View Post
    Hell, that ain't humor! That is today to a "T"! The sissification of America! The libs want to sissify it even more!

    A kid can't ride a bike without gearing up like for motocross! There is no more fun at school recess and the list does not end!

    But since this is a humor forum, I'll lighten the rant up! :D
    Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

    They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
    I hope it was a good movie!:eek:
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  5. #5  
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    If you're older, you have a better chance of knowing the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE.
    "Today, [the American voter] chooses his rulers as he buys bootleg whiskey, never knowing precisely what he is getting, only certain that it is not what it pretends to be." - H.L. Mencken
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  6. #6  
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    Quote Originally Posted by linda22003 View Post
    If you're older, you have a better chance of knowing the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE.
    I could see that coming a mile away. Lighten up Francis; it's in the humor thread.
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  7. #7  
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    Quote Originally Posted by lacarnut View Post
    I could see that coming a mile away. Lighten up Francis; it's in the humor thread.
    Hey, you're the one who said he regrets not applying himself in school. This is an example of what can happen! :)
    "Today, [the American voter] chooses his rulers as he buys bootleg whiskey, never knowing precisely what he is getting, only certain that it is not what it pretends to be." - H.L. Mencken
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  8. #8  
    Is everybody happy now? :p
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  9. #9  
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    Quote Originally Posted by linda22003 View Post
    Hey, you're the one who said he regrets not applying himself in school. This is an example of what can happen! :)
    Being a playboy for 2 years was a hell of a lot fun though. My majors were partying, girls and shooting pool.
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  10. #10  
    Zoomie djones520's Avatar
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    I'm 25 and I grew up with most of that. I was also just young enough to learn all of this new stuff as well so I'm on equal footing with both! :p
    In most sports, cold-cocking an opposing player repeatedly in the face with a series of gigantic Slovakian uppercuts would get you a multi-game suspension without pay.

    In hockey, it means you have to sit in the penalty box for five minutes.
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