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  1. #1 My Daughter 
    SEAduced SuperMod Hawkgirl's Avatar
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    My daughter started a summer camp program at our local YMCA today and I heard it again...."your daughter is so quiet and shy..."

    This is the third teacher this year who talks about how shy my daughter is. I'm concerned, could she have a confidence issue? I find it hard to believe that she is shy as they say as she is a blabbermouth at home. But three teachers have said it so it must be true. She is being raised by me and her grandparents. Our parenting styles are very much the same. I am very loving to her and she is very affectionate because of this. However; there are boundaries. She must behave when we are out (and she does) and she is taught about respect and being "lady like". With the exceptions of a couple of slaps on her behind, my mode of discipline is a Time-out and I've only had to time her out a handful of times in her almost 4 years. She is a good girl and very sensitive. When she acts out I just need to give her "the look" and she straightens right out. I don't consider myself strict, but I'm also not a pushover.

    Am I doing something wrong? Or is she just conservative by nature when she is in public because that is what I portray. Kids probably observe more than we think. I don't think she has a self-esteem issue as that she is always told how beautiful she is that her response is "I know".lol
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  2. #2  
    Senior Member ReinMan's Avatar
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    I have no kids, so take my comments for what they're worth...

    Keep in mind that these teachers are likely coming from a position and vocational culture that seeks to destroy gender roles where possible.

    Boisterous and energetic boys must be ADHD, or otherwise behaviorally abnormal. There are pills for that....

    Reserved and quiet (polite and ladylike) girls must also be obviously suppressed in their upbringing, and should be encouraged to be more outgoing and extroverted.

    If you don't think there's anything wrong, there probably isn't.

    I wouldn't say the same to any libs, however. Their worldview is so screwed up they need someone telling them what would be obvious to the rest of us...
    We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other.
    In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.

    ~John Adams
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  3. #3  
    eeeevil Sith Admin SarasotaRepub's Avatar
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    Maybe get her the "Hello Kittie AR-15"????



    I bet THAT gets some comments at skool!!!!!
    May the FORCE be with you!
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  4. #4  
    Drive-by Poster ABC in Georgia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkgirl View Post
    My daughter started a summer camp program at our local YMCA today and I heard it again...."your daughter is so quiet and shy..."

    This is the third teacher this year who talks about how shy my daughter is. I'm concerned, could she have a confidence issue? I find it hard to believe that she is shy as they say as she is a blabbermouth at home. But three teachers have said it so it must be true.

    >snip<

    Am I doing something wrong?
    Wow, Hawk ... my heart goes out to you.

    I will speak as the grandmother that I am. (a forever-young gorgeous one, that is!) Ha! Ha!

    In all seriousness, before you become all alarmed by what these teachers have told you, think about what you personally have observed about your little 4 year old daughter.

    These know-it-all so called "professionals" do not know her as well as you do.

    How well does she interact with other children her own age when NOT at school? Is she shy with them? Is she shy and retiring when around your adult friends?

    Please don't panic, she is only 4 years old.

    ~ ABC
    American By Choice ~ 1980
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  5. #5  
    Drive-by Poster ABC in Georgia's Avatar
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    Oops!

    Forgot to say that I agree with everything Reinman said ...

    Especially if these teachers have been indoctinated to think this way and their brains have been filled with all manner of lefty rubbish!!!
    American By Choice ~ 1980
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  6. #6  
    SEAduced SuperMod Hawkgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ABC in Georgia View Post
    Wow, Hawk ... my heart goes out to you.

    I will speak as the grandmother that I am. (a forever-young gorgeous one, that is!) Ha! Ha!

    In all seriousness, before you become all alarmed by what these teachers have told you, think about what you personally have observed about your little 4 year old daughter.

    These know-it-all so called "professionals" do not know her as well as you do.

    How well does she interact with other children her own age when NOT at school? Is she shy with them? Is she shy and retiring when around your adult friends?

    Please don't panic, she is only 4 years old.

    ~ ABC
    She is actually quite bossy with her close friends...that's why it's amazing to me when these teachers (one who she just met today) say that she is so shy. Earlier on in the year, her teacher said she's a born leader. So how can a kid be reserved and shy but be a leader?

    She's completely normal at home with the family, a bit of a show-off, likes to dance, sing and she never shuts up. I've taught her about "stranger danger" and maybe she is just cautious around people she doesn't know....I'd rather her be cautious with strangers than be the type that goes with them. She does lead a sheltered life and she is watched like a hawk. But that's because of all the crazy stories one hears in the news it's hard nowadays to not be a bit over-protective, which I admit I am.
    Maybe I should stop saying " if you don't stay close to mommy when we're at Target, someone is going to take you." Maybe I am making her paranoid around people who she doesn't know. It's the NYC/Bronx in me, we don't trust anyone.
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  7. #7  
    SEAduced SuperMod Hawkgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ABC in Georgia View Post
    Oops!

    Forgot to say that I agree with everything Reinman said ...

    Especially if these teachers have been indoctinated to think this way and their brains have been filled with all manner of lefty rubbish!!!
    She goes to a conservative catholic pre-school and she's at the YMCA for summer camp which preaches christian values so I doubt that.
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  8. #8  
    SEAduced SuperMod Hawkgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SarasotaRepub View Post
    Maybe get her the "Hello Kittie AR-15"????



    I bet THAT gets some comments at skool!!!!!
    I see a Christmas present in the future.
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  9. #9  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    As the father of two well grown daughters, ignore the comments until she's about 7 or so and then see if you're still getting them.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
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  10. #10  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkgirl View Post
    My daughter started a summer camp program at our local YMCA today and I heard it again...."your daughter is so quiet and shy..."

    This is the third teacher this year who talks about how shy my daughter is. I'm concerned, could she have a confidence issue? I find it hard to believe that she is shy as they say as she is a blabbermouth at home. But three teachers have said it so it must be true. She is being raised by me and her grandparents. Our parenting styles are very much the same. I am very loving to her and she is very affectionate because of this. However; there are boundaries. She must behave when we are out (and she does) and she is taught about respect and being "lady like". With the exceptions of a couple of slaps on her behind, my mode of discipline is a Time-out and I've only had to time her out a handful of times in her almost 4 years. She is a good girl and very sensitive. When she acts out I just need to give her "the look" and she straightens right out. I don't consider myself strict, but I'm also not a pushover.

    Am I doing something wrong? Or is she just conservative by nature when she is in public because that is what I portray. Kids probably observe more than we think. I don't think she has a self-esteem issue as that she is always told how beautiful she is that her response is "I know".lol
    Forget the school teachers for a moment: how is she in other social situations? At church? When you go to dinner with friends or whatever? Do you observe her as unusually shy?

    She's four Four-year-olds are often shy. Even if you see this behavior in other social situations, I would hardly panic about it if she otherwise does things "normal" four-year-olds do: play, talk at home, talk to friends (as you have mentioned), etc. If she were not talking at all and locking herself in her room every other minute of the day, then I'd say worry, but otherwise, no.

    I'm no parent, but I've certainly got enough nieces and nephews (and a number of cousins' kids that age) to have a reasonably good grasp on behavior at that age, and the one thing I've learned is that there simply isn't much of any benchmark. My eldest niece was ludicrously introverted at that age, as in couldn't even manage to look someone in the eye, much less carry on a conversation. Today she is one of the most successful executives in high-dollar, high-end real estate in this area, and that means a whole lot of personal interaction, both one-on-one and in front of groups. You don't get to broker $100M land deals with HCA by being shy and introverted.



    First and foremost, as I was once told when I thought I was going to be a father at the time, remember the Douglass Adams rule: Don't Panic.
    Olde-style, states' rights conservative. Ask if this concept confuses you.
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