Thread: Paternal Monday

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  1. #1 Paternal Monday 
    Senior Member Rebel Yell's Avatar
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    It's raining.



    TOTD: Who's your favorite TV dad? Favorite, as in a good, but realistic, Dad.
    I feel that once a black fella has referred to white foks as "honky paleface devil white-trash cracker redneck Caspers," he's abdicated the right to get upset about the "N" word. But that's just me. -- Jim Goad
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  2. #2  
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    Hugh Beaumont.
    "Today, [the American voter] chooses his rulers as he buys bootleg whiskey, never knowing precisely what he is getting, only certain that it is not what it pretends to be." - H.L. Mencken
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  3. #3  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Hank Patterson
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  4. #4  
    Senior Member Rebel Yell's Avatar
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    I feel that once a black fella has referred to white foks as "honky paleface devil white-trash cracker redneck Caspers," he's abdicated the right to get upset about the "N" word. But that's just me. -- Jim Goad
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  5. #5  
    It will be fair and in the low 70s today. I finally got my tomatoes in but they hiding inside the Walls 'O Water.

    TOTD: In terms of "realistic" I'd have to go with Red Forman also. Except with even more eye-rolling.
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  6. #6  
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    Homer Simpson. :D
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  7. #7  
    Festivus Moderator ralph wiggum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lager View Post
    Homer Simpson. :D
    Ditto. :D

    Red Forman isn't a bad one either.
    Voted hottest "chick" at CU - My hotness transcends gender
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  8. #8  
    Power CUer FlaGator's Avatar
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    Al Bundy



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  9. #9  
    CU's Tallest Midget! PoliCon's Avatar
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    TOTD: Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable
    Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
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  10. #10  
    Senior Member Rebel Yell's Avatar
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    Red Forman, quote machine...

    Eric: [on the new water heater] This is the best water heater ever. God bless us, every one.
    Red Forman: Do you know why Tiny Tim walked with a crutch?
    Eric: Because he had a smart mouth?
    Red Forman: That's right.

    [Eric catches his parents having sex, and they find out]
    Kitty Forman: Red, say something.
    Red Forman: It's more fun than it looks.

    Eric: [badly hungover] My head hurts.
    Red Forman: That's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

    Red Forman: When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But if you mix them, they can turn you into a dumbass.

    Kitty Forman: Eric, your father and I have noticed that you've been acting very strange lately.
    Red Forman: Like a hippie.
    Kitty Forman: Is there something you want to tell us?
    Red Forman: Are you on dope? Are you?
    Kitty Forman: Because we can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization...
    Red Forman: ...my foot kickin' your ass.

    [After Red's Mother Passes Away]
    Kitty Forman: Red, there are five stages of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
    Red Forman: Kitty, I've got two stages: anger, and drinking.

    Red: Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

    Red reminds me of my old man. He loved me, I knew it, but he didn't coddle me. Made a man out of me, even if he did have to drag me there kicking and screaming.
    I feel that once a black fella has referred to white foks as "honky paleface devil white-trash cracker redneck Caspers," he's abdicated the right to get upset about the "N" word. But that's just me. -- Jim Goad
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