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  1. #1 Senior Dress Code 
    CU's Tallest Midget! PoliCon's Avatar
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    Many of you 'Old Folks' (over 50) are quite confused today about how you should present yourselves. Feeling 'young', you try to conform to current fashions and present a youthful image.


    Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the following combination's DO NOT go together and should be avoided:


    1. A nose ring and bifocals



    2. Spiked hair and bald spots



    3. A pierced tongue and dentures



    4. Miniskirts and support hose



    5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads



    6. Speedo's and cellulite



    7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar



    8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor



    9. Midriff shirts and a muffin-top



    10. Bikinis and liver spots



    11. Mini skirts and varicose veins




    And, Most importantly



    At some point you have to give up the 'DAISY DUKE' shorts

    Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
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  2. #2  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    That may be Daisey Duke!
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  3. #3  
    HR Corporate Scum patriot45's Avatar
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    Lars woulda hit it! :D

    : “Grow your own dope. Plant a liberal.”
    ” Obummercare, 20 percent of the time it works everytime.
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  4. #4  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    That may be Lars there trying to talk to it!
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  5. #5  
    While that pic is appalling, the topic is actually a good one.

    There's a concept floating around (pushed by Boomers) that anybody can wear anything at any age as long as it fits well. This is just flat out false. No matter how much you work out, your skin is going to thin out and your fat is going to rearrange itself over time. You can still look terrific in clothing that plays up your good points but you can't look terrific in no clothing. You will inevitably be compared to a 25 year old and you will fail that comparison.

    People need to get a grip. Wrinkled, ripply cleavage is not attractive. A thick waist does not enhance your Speedo look. Black only makes you look thinner if you are no more than 10 pounds overweight. Wearing tighter clothing does not make you 2 sizes smaller. Men over 40 should quit dressing like little boys and buy real hats.

    :D
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  6. #6  
    Power CUer FlaGator's Avatar
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    Old men need to stick with plaid shorts and shirts with stripes that have been working so well for them all these years. Old women, keep the blue hair and the moo moos.

    I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
    C. S. Lewis
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  7. #7  
    Power CUer noonwitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    While that pic is appalling, the topic is actually a good one.

    There's a concept floating around (pushed by Boomers) that anybody can wear anything at any age as long as it fits well. This is just flat out false. No matter how much you work out, your skin is going to thin out and your fat is going to rearrange itself over time. You can still look terrific in clothing that plays up your good points but you can't look terrific in no clothing. You will inevitably be compared to a 25 year old and you will fail that comparison.

    People need to get a grip. Wrinkled, ripply cleavage is not attractive. A thick waist does not enhance your Speedo look. Black only makes you look thinner if you are no more than 10 pounds overweight. Wearing tighter clothing does not make you 2 sizes smaller. Men over 40 should quit dressing like little boys and buy real hats.

    :D


    SPANX will make a woman look two sizes smaller, though. That's a product that goes a long way to make women look better in public.
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  8. #8  
    Quote Originally Posted by noonwitch View Post
    SPANX will make a woman look two sizes smaller, though. That's a product that goes a long way to make women look better in public.
    They certainly will but a lot of the women really need them wouldn't wear them. The Cult of Comfort seems to trump everything (although Spanx really aren't uncomfortable).
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  9. #9  
    Power CUer noonwitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    They certainly will but a lot of the women really need them wouldn't wear them. The Cult of Comfort seems to trump everything (although Spanx really aren't uncomfortable).


    The Assets version, which are the off-brand of SPANX sold for a lower price at Target, are actually very comfortable, and I've found the leg part to be more durable than the SPANX from Nordies. The hi-waisted Assets hose are $16, the SPANX version are $32.
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  10. #10  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    While that pic is appalling, the topic is actually a good one.

    There's a concept floating around (pushed by Boomers) that anybody can wear anything at any age as long as it fits well. This is just flat out false. No matter how much you work out, your skin is going to thin out and your fat is going to rearrange itself over time. You can still look terrific in clothing that plays up your good points but you can't look terrific in no clothing. You will inevitably be compared to a 25 year old and you will fail that comparison.

    People need to get a grip. Wrinkled, ripply cleavage is not attractive. A thick waist does not enhance your Speedo look. Black only makes you look thinner if you are no more than 10 pounds overweight. Wearing tighter clothing does not make you 2 sizes smaller. Men over 40 should quit dressing like little boys and buy real hats.

    :D

    Some people are pretty amazing though. I live in a retirement town (South Pasadena Florida) where the median age is 75 years old. Last night at the grocery store, the man in front of me had a tight workout body which I would have guessed was a very well preserved 35 years old. I'm going to estimate that he was 53. Yes, he had that little wrinkle on the bicep that young men don't have, but that was about the only tell I could see other than his face. To get a mental picture, imagine that Jan Michael Vincent had gone the health food and clean living route combined with incredible genes and working out.

    We have a couple of men around here whose bodies are 20 or 30 years younger than their face.
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