Minnesota will pick up tab to counsel divorcing couples

[Gingersnap]

Minnesota will pick up tab to counsel divorcing couples

By Cheryl Wetzstein
8:37 p.m., Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The state of Minnesota will soon begin offering, at state expense, divorce reconciliation services to couples considering dissolving their marriages.

The Minnesota Couples on the Brink project was signed last week as part of an omnibus spending bill by Gov. Tim Pawlenty, who is often mentioned in speculation about Republican presidential tickets.

The new project will give couples an "offramp" if they find themselves on the road to divorce, by offering on a voluntary basis short-term coaching to help the husband and wife decide whether they really want to split. If a couple decides to rebuild the marriage, the project will help craft a reconciliation plan.

Pro-family advocates contend that the current court system assumes its role is to facilitate divorce, not to reconcile couples.

"The judicial system tends to increase conflict, not decrease it," said state Sen. Steve Dille, lead sponsor of the law.

But not all couples who file for divorce actually want to break up, said Mr. Dille, a Republican who helped pass several pro-marriage laws during his 24 years in the Minnesota Legislature.

William J. Doherty, a family studies professor at the University of Minnesota, surveyed about 2,500 couples who had attended a mandatory divorce education class in Hennepin County during 2008 and 2009.

In about 30 percent of cases, one spouse said they wanted the divorce while the other did not, and in about 10 percent, "both partners were open to trying again" to save their marriage, Mr. Dille said.

That 10 percent is a substantial number — about 1,500 couples a year statewide, Mr. Dille said. Divorce may certainly be the best choice for some couples, he added, but for others — if they knew more about divorce and its aftermath, "they might want to find an alternate path."

Interesting. Divorce is a big economic disaster for a lot of people.

Washington Times

[PoliCon]

Interesting. Divorce is a big economic disaster for a lot of people.

Washington Times

almost always for the children involved.

[Gingersnap]

almost always for the children involved.

Yes, psychologically and economically it's pretty awful for most kids. The most recent studies done show that children are almost always better off in intact biological families unless their parents come to physical blows.

Even snarky or indifferent parents living together with the kids are better than the divorce shuttle routine.

I'll be interested to see how this program works out.

[noonwitch]

Nobody here thinks this is a nanny-state measure? Having the courts/state pay for marriage counseling? You know those counselors are going to end up being a bunch of flakey people like me.

[PoliCon]

Nobody here thinks this is a nanny-state measure? Having the courts/state pay for marriage counseling? You know those counselors are going to end up being a bunch of flakey people like me.

I'd be against this at the federal level. I might even be against it at the state level were I a resident of Minnesota - but it IS their state. As long as they are not asking for my money to fund it - I'm ok with it. That being said - a program like this has the potential - properly run - to reduce tax burdens by reducing the number of people who need public assistance and housing.

[Gingersnap]

I'd be against this at the federal level. I might even be against it at the state level were I a resident of Minnesota - but it IS their state. As long as they are not asking for my money to fund it - I'm ok with it. That being said - a program like this has the potential - properly run - to reduce tax burdens by reducing the number of people who need public assistance and housing.

Exactly. I would absolutely oppose any kind of forced counseling but as an alternative to instant or blindsided divorce, I think it has potential.

The economic ramifications of divorce are huge and they can last decades with kids. I'd also support adding a financial counseling element to this idea.

[noonwitch]

I'd be against this at the federal level. I might even be against it at the state level were I a resident of Minnesota - but it IS their state. As long as they are not asking for my money to fund it - I'm ok with it. That being said - a program like this has the potential - properly run - to reduce tax burdens by reducing the number of people who need public assistance and housing.

Just remember that the program will likely be run by the same people who run the public assistance and housing programs! Well, actually more like the people who run the foster care and CPS programs, because those are the ones with the degrees in the right field, i.e. people like me. Bureaucrats with social work degrees.


The financial counseling Ginger mentioned probably is a good idea. I'll bet my mom would have reconsidered divorcing my dad had she known how little she would get out of him. Not that it would have been good for either of them to stay married, but my mom stayed with him as long as he did because he paid her credit card bills for all those Liz Claiborne, Donna Karan and Anne Klein clothes that she bought in the 80s.

[Gingersnap]

Just remember that the program will likely be run by the same people who run the public assistance and housing programs! Well, actually more like the people who run the foster care and CPS programs, because those are the ones with the degrees in the right field, i.e. people like me. Bureaucrats with social work degrees.

I would think that professional mediators would be way more appropriate than social workers or psychologists. Couples in trouble (fixable trouble, I mean) usually need help in setting boundaries, negotiating finances and tasks, time management, civil communication, and compromising on specific issues in order to accomplish joint goals.

These are all areas that require the skill set found in HR settings and business relations. I mean, marriage really is a business. It's a joint economic venture with assets and expenditures, long-range planning, investments, capital, and all the rest. Couples already have the touchy-feely part established - that's why they got married in the first place. They need help with concrete skills.

[Wei Wu Wei]

Just remember that the program will likely be run by the same people who run the public assistance and housing programs! Well, actually more like the people who run the foster care and CPS programs, because those are the ones with the degrees in the right field, i.e. people like me. Bureaucrats with social work degrees.

People like me too, lots of psych experience.

[PoliCon]

People like me too, lots of psych experience.

seeing them does not count as experience.