The bride said she was a virgin. When her new husband discovered that was a lie

[megimoo]

This is what is usually used.

Deception can take many forms ,but It fails to mention Virginity.The root cause of the desire to marry a virgin is a fear of being cuckolded by his wife if she were worldly and sexually experienced.A shy humble young girl who has just left her mothers influences is much to be prefered !BTW the catholic church will do just about anything to save a marrage unless you are extremely wealthy and can pay for the annulment for the rest of her life !

[Gingersnap]

Where is Gingersnap in this thread?? I read the link and apparantly the groom was looking for bleeding as a sign of virginity? How could he prove that she'd had sex prior to her honeymoon?

Girls who ride horses, gymnasts, etc, might not bleed.

'Tis true - hymens vary in thickness, elasticity, and durability. Long after I was married I was still asked, "Are you a virgin?" by gynos because my hymen was easily pushed to the side (with no pain or ill effects). On the downside, I would have had no bloody sheet to display for tribal amusement.

The RCC does list lack of virginity as possible grounds for annulment. However, if the parties in question went through the Pre-Cana counseling that is offered and urged, they would have worked through those issues long before the nuptials.

In real life it is impossible to detect all female virgins although some have bleeding. I knew a girl who broke her hymen with an awkward high dive when I was on the swim team. Go figure.

[megimoo]

'Tis true - hymens vary in thickness, elasticity, and durability. Long after I was married I was still asked, "Are you a virgin?" by gynos because my hymen was easily pushed to the side (with no pain or ill effects). On the downside, I would have had no bloody sheet to display for tribal amusement.

The RCC does list lack of virginity as possible grounds for annulment. However, if the parties in question went through the Pre-Cana counseling that is offered and urged, they would have worked through those issues long before the nuptials.

In real life it is impossible to detect all female virgins although some have bleeding. I knew a girl who broke her hymen with an awkward high dive when I was on the swim team. Go figure.

Girls are allright but there is nothing like the real thing !!!!

[noonwitch]

This kind of stuff rackles my inner feminist.

1. I hate it when female virginity is defined as having a hymen. Does this mean that rape victims who have never voluntarily had sex are not virgins? That's a backwards mentality, and where it doesn't surprise me to hear it expressed by european muslims, I don't like it that the french courts agreed.

2. Why do men of any backround expect a woman to be a virgin by that definition, in this day and age? Women ride horses, fall off bikes, use tampons, etc., things that sometimes break hymens without being sexual acts.

Megimo beat me to the Deut. quote, which I think just underscores my point that viewing women and virginity in such a way is part of the old way of thinking and needs to end in the modern world. There's also the part in the same book that tells us to stone urban rape victims if they don't scream. We don't do that in the modern world, whether we chalk it up to Christianity's influence or feminism, or both (Jesus was a feminist, in a way, because he valued women in a culture and time that didn't do so).

[Goldwater]

1. I hate it when female virginity is defined as having a hymen. Does this mean that rape victims who have never voluntarily had sex are not virgins? That's a backwards mentality, and where it doesn't surprise me to hear it expressed by european muslims, I don't like it that the french courts agreed.

Well technically they're not, their virginity was stolen from them. Although I think (and would hope) a husband would understand.

[biccat]

Well technically they're not, their virginity was stolen from them. Although I think (and would hope) a husband would understand.

Aren't rape victims usually stoned/beaten/imprisoned in Muslim theocracies?

[noonwitch]

Aren't rape victims usually stoned/beaten/imprisoned in Muslim theocracies?

It happens frequently enough that it should be recognized. I think there was a case in Nigeria in the last few years, although I don't think the stoning actually ended up taking place. A Sharia court convicted a rape victim of adultry and sentenced her to death by stoning.

If I remember correctly, the Taliban executed women in a public arena for adultry.

I defend american muslims and their right to practice their religion, and so far, we don't see a lot of this kind of action in the american muslim community, probably because they understand that our law enforcement is not going to tolerate that kind of crap. But I get really annoyed with DUers who minimize the anti-female aspect within a good part of Islam.