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  1. #1 Bonding Over Problems Can Make Women Anxious 
    Bonding Over Problems Can Make Women Anxious
    LiveScience.com

    Stephanie Pappas
    LiveScience Senior Writer

    livescience.com – Sat Nov 13, 8:57 pm ET

    It's always nice to have a friend's shoulder to lean on when life gets tough. But a study has found that too much commiserating can be stressful.

    Female friends who dwell on each other's problems show a spike in the stress hormone cortisol and an increase in activity of the sympathetic nervous system, the system responsible for the fight-or-flight response, the study found.

    Talking over problems without dwelling on them resulted in no such spike, suggesting that compassionate conversation is helpful - when done right.

    "Too much of a good thing is a bad thing," study researcher Jennifer Byrd-Craven, an Oklahoma State University psychologist, told LiveScience. "Really focusing on negative feelings is probably bad overall for your physical health as well as your psychological health."

    Studies on chronic stress have linked worry to high blood pressure, lowered immune response, and increased abdominal fat, which in turn is associated with heart disease and stroke.

    Byrd-Craven reported the results online Oct. 27 in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

    Stressful conversations

    Earlier studies had shown that excessively rehashing problems with friends - a phenomenon called "co-ruminating" - seemed to make people more anxious even as it brought the friends closer together. To investigate this paradox, Byrd-Craven recruited 44 pairs of college-age female friends. (Women, accordant with stereotype, are more likely to co-ruminate than men, Byrd-Craven said.)

    The women completed questionnaires designed to reveal their temperaments and problem-solving styles. Then the friend pairs were asked either to sit and discuss problems or to work together to plan a community recreation center. The center-planning task was a control so the researchers could compare problem-talking with a more neutral interaction.

    Before and after the tasks, the women gave saliva samples to measure levels of cortisol and salivary alpha-amylase, a compound that signals the activation of the sympathetic nervous system.

    The women who planned the community center showed no stress response, and neither did women whose natural problem-discussing style focused on solutions. But friend pairs who ruminated on their problems, discussing them without any resolution, showed an increase in both cortisol and salivary alpha-amylase.

    Friends forever or toxic friendship?

    The study looked only at the short term, so researchers don't know how co-ruminating affects health over the long term. But preliminary evidence suggests the answer won't be a positive one.
    I've seen this happen. Yakking without problem-solving can be almost as stressful as reliving the situation.

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  2. #2  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    I've seen this happen. Yakking without problem-solving can be almost as stressful as reliving the situation.

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    So, the less women talk the better off everyone is. They needed a study to reach that conclusion?
    "The efforts of the government alone will never be enough. In the end the people must choose and the people must help themselves" ~ JFK; from his famous inauguration speech (What Democrats sounded like before today's neo-Liberals hijacked that party)
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    Super Moderator bijou's Avatar
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    I think that there arre probably quite a lot of people who just enjoy wallowing in their problems and don't actually want a resolution. There's a pay off to the misery.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Articulate_Ape View Post
    So, the less women talk the better off everyone is. They needed a study to reach that conclusion?
    I think the take home message is that discussing a stressful situation without also discussing possible solutions just makes things worse.
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    Senior Betwixt Member Bubba Dawg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    I think the take home message is that discussing a stressful situation without also discussing possible solutions just makes things worse.
    I'm big on making things better by making them worse. Push somebody over the edge of a cliff and they either learn to fly, swim or bounce.

    Either way, the problem is resolved. :)

    I'm helpful to a fault.
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    An Adversary of Linda #'s
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubba Dawg View Post
    I'm big on making things better by making them worse. Push somebody over the edge of a cliff and they either learn to fly, swim or bounce.

    Either way, the problem is resolved. :)

    I'm helpful to a fault.
    You should volunteer for duty on a suicide hot line ?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    I think the take home message is that discussing a stressful situation without also discussing possible solutions just makes things worse.
    I've always felt that some woman like to wallow in someone else's troubles just for the vicarious pleasure it gave them.Sure, they would make all of the correct shows of sympathy and give advice but walk away relieved it isn't them.
    Sort of like a woman listening the old soap box operas and bursting into tears then answering the phone with no memory of the cause of the tears.Some woman are emotional sponges that thrive on other's troubles.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    I think the take home message is that discussing a stressful situation without also discussing possible solutions just makes things worse.
    Ah, sorry, my mistake. I saw it was by someone named Stephanie and stopped paying attention about a quarter of the way through. :p
    "The efforts of the government alone will never be enough. In the end the people must choose and the people must help themselves" ~ JFK; from his famous inauguration speech (What Democrats sounded like before today's neo-Liberals hijacked that party)
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  9. #9  
    Senior Betwixt Member Bubba Dawg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by megimoo View Post
    You should volunteer for duty on a suicide hot line ?
    Come on asshole. You really want to kill yourself? Go ahead and pull the trigger. I really want to hear the BANG!!!! Do it you useless waste of air.

    Or are you going to fail at suicide just like you've failed at everything else in your pathetic excuse of a life.

    If you were worth a shit you'd already be dead. Only a loser calls a suicide hotline anyway.


    Now, call me crazy, but when I don't hear the BANG then we have a basis for successful therapy.:)

    Making things better by making them worse. Damn I'm good. I'm gonna write a book. Maybe they will make me the Suicide Prevention Czar for Obamacare.
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    I swear. These researchers are killing us. They're telling us stuff that we instinctively know. I stopped reading this bs years ago.
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