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  1. #1 Things to do in the TSA "checkout stand".... 
    Resident Grandpa marv's Avatar
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    If you're male, request a female pat-down agent.
    If you're female, request a male pat-down agent.
    Giggle a lot.
    Pretend you're gay/lesbian, and ask if they'll do it again.
    Voice a loud, orgasmic "OHHHHHHHHHH......... yes, yes!"
    Ask the agent for a date.
    Make comments like, "Oh, you're so naughty!"

    ...and anything else to embarrass the TSA agent..........and the TSA.

    http://members.socket.net/~mcruzan/images/allen-west.jpg

    Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box, the jury box, and the cartridge box.

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  2. #2  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Lean into their hand as they pat you down!:D
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  3. #3  
    Senior Member Big Guy's Avatar
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    When they pat you down they are usually behind you soooooooo.

    Bend at the waist and back up, the Inmates do this to the new officers at the prison. :D
    I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. Thomas Jefferson
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  4. #4  
    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    Take a Viagra beforehand.
    "The efforts of the government alone will never be enough. In the end the people must choose and the people must help themselves" ~ JFK; from his famous inauguration speech (What Democrats sounded like before today's neo-Liberals hijacked that party)
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  5. #5  
    An Adversary of Linda #'s
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rockntractor View Post
    Lean into their hand as they pat you down!:D
    Bring back The orgasmatron ,we'll overstimulate you until you confess !
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  6. #6  
    Senior Member Madisonian's Avatar
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    Male:
    Stop at the local adult novelty store and get a 12" vibrating artificial phallic device and place down pants as appropriate.
    Turn on said device about 30 seconds before the pat down (insist on a public pat down).
    Relax and smile a lot.:D

    Female:
    Well, I guess you could do the same thing.:eek:
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  7. #7  
    Resident Grandpa marv's Avatar
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    Jeeze.......I'm spitting my vodka tonic all over my keyboard.......

    http://members.socket.net/~mcruzan/images/allen-west.jpg

    Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box, the jury box, and the cartridge box.

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  8. #8  
    Somebody suggested that men should wear kilts and go commando.

    CueSi can probably elaborate on this but apparently adult stores sell "packages" for would-be female to male cross-dressers to ensure a more authentic look. A "package" under a cocktail dress sounds like fun for the TSA. :)
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  9. #9  
    Senior Member Molon Labe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Articulate_Ape View Post
    Take a Viagra beforehand.
    or take one of these to the airport

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XuLXD3iZ88
    Gun Control: The theory that a woman found dead in an alley, raped and strangled with her panty hose, is somehow morally superior to a woman explaining to police how her attacker got that fatal bullet wound - Unknown


    The problem is Empty People, Not Loaded Guns - Linda Schrock Taylor
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  10. #10  
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    for women?
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