Things to do in the TSA "checkout stand"....

[marv]

If you're male, request a female pat-down agent.
If you're female, request a male pat-down agent.
Giggle a lot.
Pretend you're gay/lesbian, and ask if they'll do it again.
Voice a loud, orgasmic "OHHHHHHHHHH......... yes, yes!"
Ask the agent for a date.
Make comments like, "Oh, you're so naughty!"

...and anything else to embarrass the TSA agent..........and the TSA.

[Rockntractor]

Lean into their hand as they pat you down!:D

[Big Guy]

When they pat you down they are usually behind you soooooooo.

Bend at the waist and back up, the Inmates do this to the new officers at the prison. :D

[Articulate_Ape]

Take a Viagra beforehand.

[megimoo]

Lean into their hand as they pat you down!:D

Bring back The orgasmatron ,we'll overstimulate you until you confess !

[Madisonian]

Male:
Stop at the local adult novelty store and get a 12" vibrating artificial phallic device and place down pants as appropriate.
Turn on said device about 30 seconds before the pat down (insist on a public pat down).
Relax and smile a lot.:D

Female:
Well, I guess you could do the same thing.:eek:

[marv]

Jeeze.......I'm spitting my vodka tonic all over my keyboard.......

[Gingersnap]

Somebody suggested that men should wear kilts and go commando.

CueSi can probably elaborate on this but apparently adult stores sell "packages" for would-be female to male cross-dressers to ensure a more authentic look. A "package" under a cocktail dress sounds like fun for the TSA. :)

[Molon Labe]

Take a Viagra beforehand.

or take one of these to the airport

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XuLXD3iZ88

[Calypso Jones]

for women?