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  1. #21  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rockntractor View Post
    Fart.
    Load up on Taco Bell beforehand.
    Quote Originally Posted by PoliCon View Post
    lets remember people that most TSA agents are real - NORMAL - people just trying to do their job.
    All the more reason to make it as weird as possible.

    Put one of those squishy toys in the back of your pants. When they feel it, just look embarassed and say, "Uh oh, I had an accident..."

    Or, get a long wig that matches your hair color and stick it in the front of your pants. Explain that you didn't have time to trim that morning.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  2. #22  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Odysseus View Post
    Load up on Taco Bell beforehand.

    All the more reason to make it as weird as possible.

    Put one of those squishy toys in the back of your pants. When they feel it, just look embarassed and say, "Uh oh, I had an accident..."

    Or, get a long wig that matches your hair color and stick it in the front of your pants. Explain that you didn't have time to trim that morning.
    Unfortunately, I'm sure you'd get charged with "Obstruction of Lawful Security Procedures" or something.
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  3. #23  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by m00 View Post
    Unfortunately, I'm sure you'd get charged with "Obstruction of Lawful Security Procedures" or something.
    For the wig? Unlikely. The squishy toy might result in a further search, so it's a bad idea, but still, I really like the wig gag, and there's no law against having a merkin.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  4. #24  
    Grouchy Old Broad Kay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Odysseus View Post
    there's no law against having a merkin.
    I had to google that to find out what it was it.
    Can you imagine working in a merkin factory.
    That would be a good episode to put on How Its Made.
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  5. #25  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    Somebody suggested that men should wear kilts and go commando.

    CueSi can probably elaborate on this but apparently adult stores sell "packages" for would-be female to male cross-dressers to ensure a more authentic look. A "package" under a cocktail dress sounds like fun for the TSA. :)
    Most good packs are home-made. My shop doesn't sell any, but I know the ones that do. Sand/gel filled small balloons or condoms work best. Those little stress balls? Get one of those... get it into a condom, prolly a magnum, and stuff it in your panties. :p

    I may do that for fun next time. :D

    ~QC
    "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is hard business. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." Rudyard Kipling - (1865-1936)

    Context doesn't matter to this liberal it seems/ as long as it satisfies his godless dreams/ like monkeys throwing sh!t as castles in air/ as long as he throws/that is the extent of his care.
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  6. #26  
    CU's Tallest Midget! PoliCon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by m00 View Post
    I bet they get a lot of washed-out Correctional Officers. :p
    I don't know the one person I know who works for the TSA is Sargent in the Army Reserves and going to college.
    Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
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  7. #27  
    Power CUer noonwitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PoliCon View Post
    I don't know the one person I know who works for the TSA is Sargent in the Army Reserves and going to college.

    I thought that would be one of those jobs that would appeal to either former military personnel or for reservists. It uses a lot of the skills learned in the military, it pays fairly well with benefits, and they have to accomodate you if you get called up for active service.

    One of my former coworker's husbands is an air marshall. He's a former military guy, too.
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  8. #28  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kay View Post
    I had to google that to find out what it was it.
    Can you imagine working in a merkin factory.
    That would be a good episode to put on How Its Made.
    I would think that they're made the same way as regular wigs, but it might make a good episode of Dirty Jobs, with Mike Rowe. Come to think of it, so would the TSA, now that it's become a step above subway groping.
    Quote Originally Posted by noonwitch View Post
    I thought that would be one of those jobs that would appeal to either former military personnel or for reservists. It uses a lot of the skills learned in the military, it pays fairly well with benefits, and they have to accomodate you if you get called up for active service.

    One of my former coworker's husbands is an air marshall. He's a former military guy, too.
    Air Marshalls are to TSA gate workers as Navy SEALs are to your high school's swim team coach.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  9. #29  
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    not all of them.
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  10. #30  
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    Pee your pants and leave a puddle.
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