Abstract
Recent research has shown that the mere presence of Al Gore is able to reduce ambient temperatures by approximately 27.6°C. This phenomenon is termed the "Al Gore Effect." Various theories about the physical mechanism of this phenomenon, its dangers, and its potential usefulness in fighting global warming are discussed.
The Al Gore Effect
A few years ago, in November 2006, Al Gore went to Australia and New Zealand to preach to the wallabies, and their human companions, about global warming. The Australian state of Victoria (largest city: Melbourne), which has an average temperature of 71.2°F in November (November being late spring/early summer there), got snow. The state of Queensland reported the first snow on that date since 1941.
Almost three years earlier, in January 2004, Al Gore had spoken in New York City, and produced the coldest temperatures in almost fifty years. Likewise in Boston of the same year. Ever the modest gentleman, Al Gore attributed the effects not to the phenomenal energy- and life-force-sucking power of his presence, but to global warming (which is, in retrospect, not surprising, since Al Gore attributes everything to global warming).
Then, in late 2007, Al Gore did it again, while in Bali attending the Global Warming conference. Luckily, it's virtually impossible for snow to fall in Bali. But back in America, right on cue, twelve inches of snow fell on Chicago; there were record ice storms in the Midwest, and up to 18 inches of snow in the Northeast. Maine tied a 117-year record for snow. Al Gore's powers appear to be increasing exponentially. Clearly, he no longer needs to be physically present; he can produce record cold temperatures anywhere on the globe just by speaking about global warming. Since Al Gore won the Kentucky Derby in 2007, his climate-altering properties have increased even more.
Originally Posted by Bleda
