Thread: Okay, Now What?

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  1. #1 Okay, Now What? 
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    For the past few months Deeanna has been a completly changed girl. She does her chores (cleaning out the horse stalls, laundry, house cleaning) with out complaint. She enjoys doing some of them. She keeps her room meticulously clean. I have imposed a curfew on her and she has yet to break it unless she calls in a timely fashion. She cooks and bakes with my mom (who just adores her). It is almost like aliens abducted the old Deeanna and left this one in her place. I leave in dread fear of them bringing the old Deeanna back.

    Today, she got into a fight in school. A bad one. The other girl had to get stitches because Deeanna opened up a slice under her eye. Both Deeanna and the other girl are going to be in ISS for a while.

    I am at a loss about what to do. The old Deeanna of a couple of months back I would have known how to handle. But now that she has been acting and behaving so well, I do not know what would be appropriate.

    I do not want her to think that she can't catch a break but then I really can't just let this go either.
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  2. #2  
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    Since this is a first time event, I would not make a big deal out of it. Find out who started the fight and tell her the next time if a fight can not be avoided do it off school grounds. Bullies usually get the message when they get their ass kicked and the word spreads around. Probably will not happen again but I would not discourage her from taking up for herself. In many confrontations, keeping your mouth closed can keep you from getting in a fight but opening it will almost guarantee one. It took me a long time to learn that as a kid.
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  3. #3  
    Power CUer NJCardFan's Avatar
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    This depends. Did she start the fight? My father didn't condone fighting, however, if someone picked a fight with one of us, we were free to finish it. If she didn't start it then there's nothing that can be done. She defended herself. If she did start it, then she needs to be disciplined. Not saying beat her or anything like that. Ground her for a week or take something away(cell phone) for a period of time. It sounds like you've done a great job at raising her for this year you've had her but just because she's starting to straighten out, doesn't mean she doesn't need guidance from time to time which includes discipline. Just make sure what you do is done out of love and not anger.
    The Obama Administration: Deny. Deflect. Blame.
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  4. #4  
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    Just wanted to add that I agree with LA and NJ.
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  5. #5  
    SEAduced SuperMod Hawkgirl's Avatar
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    Just to echo the previous posts, find out who started. If she stood up for herself, then I wouldn't punish her...but maybe coach her on "avoidance"...how people are just not worth it...etc. I wouldn't penalize the girl for sticking up for herself.

    I only had 2 fights in my childhood life. Both girls were hurt, and their mother's came to my house. Both girls started with me. One started a fight with me when I was on my roller skates....she lost.
    My parents never said a word to me about it.

    Now if SHE is the bully, then she should get "perks" removed for a long period of time.
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  6. #6  
    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    How old is Deeanna again, Speedy?
    "The efforts of the government alone will never be enough. In the end the people must choose and the people must help themselves" ~ JFK; from his famous inauguration speech (What Democrats sounded like before today's neo-Liberals hijacked that party)
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  7. #7  
    Power CUer NJCardFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkgirl View Post
    Just to echo the previous posts, find out who started. If she stood up for herself, then I wouldn't punish her...but maybe coach her on "avoidance"...how people are just not worth it...etc. I wouldn't penalize the girl for sticking up for herself.

    I only had 2 fights in my childhood life. Both girls were hurt, and their mother's came to my house. Both girls started with me. One started a fight with me when I was on my roller skates....she lost.
    My parents never said a word to me about it.

    Now if SHE is the bully, then she should get "perks" removed for a long period of time.
    I got in a lot of fights as a kid and I never started a one. However, I didn't go down so easily. Even those fights I lost I gained respect. Usually because even though you may have gotten the better of me, chances were you were pretty lumped up yourself. That and I was as dirty a fighter as one can be.
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  8. #8  
    SEAduced SuperMod Hawkgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NJCardFan View Post
    I got in a lot of fights as a kid and I never started a one. However, I didn't go down so easily. Even those fights I lost I gained respect. Usually because even though you may have gotten the better of me, chances were you were pretty lumped up yourself. That and I was as dirty a fighter as one can be.

    Well, you're a boy...two fights for a girl is plenty. I am a lady, ya know ;) BTW, I was under 12 in both of those fights. Girls fighting as teens(or older) isn't very lady-like.
    I take pleasure in reminiscing though:o...giving that butch some major road rash as I kicked her down to the floor with my rollerskates, was pretty funny...but I digress.
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  9. #9  
    Grouchy Old Broad Kay's Avatar
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    Teach her that wrestling "butt drag" move.
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  10. #10  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kay View Post
    Teach her that wrestling "butt drag" move.
    Don't chew your nails!:eek:
    The difference between pigs and people is that when they tell you you're cured it isn't a good thing.
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