Subject: POLITICAL CORRECTNESS FOR 2008
Due to the climate of political correctness now
pervading America .... Kentuckians, Tennesseans and
West Virginians will no longer be referred to as
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1 She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED
DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
5 She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He '
INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a
case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his
pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'