Subject: POLITICAL CORRECTNESS FOR 2008

Due to the climate of political correctness now
pervading America .... Kentuckians, Tennesseans and
West Virginians will no longer be referred to as
'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1 She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
'BREASTED AMERICAN.'


2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY
ACCESSIBLE.'


3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED
DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'


4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'


5 She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY
REPETITIVE.'


6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST
PROVIDER.'


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'


2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY
CAUCASIAN.'


3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He '
INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'


4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE
REGRESSION.'


5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a
case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'


6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his
pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'