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  1. #1 6 Famous Movie Wisemen Who Were Totally Full of Shit 
    Super Moderator bijou's Avatar
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    Sometimes you'll be watching a movie and an old wise man will appear on the screen. He will say little, but those few words will be full of sage advice that will guide the hero on his journey. You may even find yourself quoting him later.

    What is easy to forget is that behind that wise old man is just a hack Hollywood screenwriter, and that those ancient words of wisdom were thrown in on the third draft, at four in the morning, after half a pound of cocaine.
    #6.
    Yoda

    Hollywood loves it when wisdom comes from unexpected places. There is always a homeless man around to teach an uppity grad student about love or janitor or limo driver to offer some folksy homespun wisdom.


    More often than not, Morgan Freeman is involved.

    That's why The Empire Strikes Back introduces Yoda as a rubbery little nuisance, seeming at first to be the comic relief, until we realize this wacky little gremlin is the spiritual and philosophical heart of the trilogy. The wisdom that comes from this troll sets the foundation for a creed which is more adored and revered today than many religions.

    And it's pretty much all shit.

    Take Yoda's chilling warning to Luke about the consequences of his decision to go to Cloud City:

    "If you go now, help them you could, but you would destroy ALL for which they have fought and suffered..."

    Set aside that this is vague to the point of incoherence, it consists of two separate clauses which are both proven completely untrue within minutes of Yoda saying them. ...
    Read more: 6 Famous Movie Wisemen Who Were Totally Full of Shit | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/article_18443...#ixzz1IfMtUVKG
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    Best Bounty Hunter in the Forums fettpett's Avatar
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    what the movie doesn't show is that Luke was on Dagobah for like 3-6 months. Also Yoda was talking about Luke's future and if he fell to the Dark Side, THEN all would be loss, particularly after he found out that Vader was his father.
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  3. #3  
    That is flat-out hilarious! I always hated Yoda anyway.
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  4. #4  
    Best Bounty Hunter in the Forums fettpett's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    That is flat-out hilarious! I always hated Yoda anyway.
    :mad::mad::mad:

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  5. #5  
    Quote Originally Posted by fettpett View Post
    :mad::mad::mad:
    You can post all the Mad Face Smileys you want. Yoda was a rubber puppet that got progressively unwatchable over a period of decades. :p
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  6. #6  
    Best Bounty Hunter in the Forums fettpett's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    You can post all the Mad Face Smileys you want. Yoda was a rubber puppet that got progressively unwatchable over a period of decades. :p
    Thats ok, Fett is much cooler anyway

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    You know, if they're going to rip a movie, at least get your facts straight:
    The thing is, Miyagi knows this from his own life experience. In Karate Kid 2 we meet Miyagi's nemesis, Sato, the guy who drove Miyagi out of Japan. How does Miyagi know Sato? They were both students of the same teacher, Miyagi's father! In what must be the most telling statement in the Karate Kid franchise, Miyagi essentially says that his father was a miserable prick, and apparently so is Miyagi.

    And while we're here, we'd like to point out another piece of wisdom that doesn't sit well. Upon Daniel finding his Medal of Honor, Miyagi tells him:

    "Daniel-san, this [points to heart] say you brave, this [points to Medal of Honor] say you lucky."
    For starters, it wasn't Japan but Okinawa. It would be the same as referring to Northern Ireland as England(even though both are under the U.K.). 2nd, it wasn't a Medal of Honor but a Medal of Valor. I know it's a matter of semantics but my point is made. That said, yes Miyagi said that there is no bad student, only bad teacher. He was referring to Creese and the manner in which he teaches his students(mercy is for the weak, etc). But to imply Sato was a bad person due to Miyagi's father's teachings is ludicrous. Sato wasn't a bad person at heart, he felt that he was dishonored by his best friend over a woman and that Miyagi left Okinawa and sacrificed his own honor in order to restore the honor of his friend, however Sato carried this grudge. And this grudge carried over to his nephew Chozen. This made Sato a bad teacher because in an un-karate like manner, he taught his nephew that using karate as a means to injure was OK...something he came to regret later in the movie.

    That said, Miyagi doesn't belong on this list. His teachings to Daniel were great, especially when Daniel got it, early in his training, that he was learning karate not to fight but so he wouldn't have to. That is the true meaning of karate(at least Goju).

    This is one of the real bad habits of movie wise men. It's not enough for Miyagi to say he won a medal due to sheer luck. No, he has to phrase it as an inarguable law of the universe: Every Medal of Honor recipient who put their life on the line in defense of their beloved country is just a lucky asshole.
    He was speaking for himself, dimbulb.
    The Obama Administration: Deny. Deflect. Blame.
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    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    That is flat-out hilarious! I always hated Yoda anyway.
    Me too. I am still waiting for someone to explain to me how it is that this the little green gremlin could be 900 years old and still not be able to properly construct a sentence; or how the scraggly little bastard could sense the fart of a Bargonian gas gnat from 50 light years away and yet didn't have a clue that the Dark Sith Lord was in the corner office down the hall making mental origami with Anakin's puny little mind.
    "The efforts of the government alone will never be enough. In the end the people must choose and the people must help themselves" ~ JFK; from his famous inauguration speech (What Democrats sounded like before today's neo-Liberals hijacked that party)
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    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fettpett View Post
    Thats ok, Fett is much cooler anyway
    And tastier too. Just ask the sarlacc. :p
    "The efforts of the government alone will never be enough. In the end the people must choose and the people must help themselves" ~ JFK; from his famous inauguration speech (What Democrats sounded like before today's neo-Liberals hijacked that party)
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  10. #10  
    Best Bounty Hunter in the Forums fettpett's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Articulate_Ape View Post
    And tastier too. Just ask the sarlacc. :p
    nah, he was indigestible :p
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