Thread: Unrequited Love
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#1 Unrequited Love
04-12-2011, 04:30 PM
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
There's this girl I've known, and loved (unrequited) for the last five years. She and I have a very strange relationship, really. The first time we hung out alone, five years ago, we ended up making out, but then she decided she didn't like me, and has rejected me a few times. Claims to love me only like a brother. She came from an abusive household--her father was physically and verbally abusive to her and her mother. She's always gone out with decidely asshole guys herself. She also has intimacy issues--She DESPISES being touched in any form (I don't mean sexually). Even a boyfriend holding her hand makes her uncomfortable. She's also not the most emotional, which is the opposite of me. You could even say she borders on cold, a little unempathetic.
Yet she comes over my house and will lay on my bed with me and watch movies and talk about deep things, personal things. Sometimes she'll even let me touch her, as in tickle her legs or lay with my back against her, or kiss her forehead as she's laying down. She feels comfortable enough to fall asleep in my bed. We act like an old married couple, she quips at me and sometimes will joke about us having children some day, and she's going to as my "date" to a relative's wedding this Fall. So while it's unrequited love, there is a part of me which has always hoped and thought that SOMEDAY it will be more.
Ever since the day I met her, somehow I knew me and her would marry each other someday, and I never felt that about girl before or after her--Just a strange feeling I've had. Her family members have encouraged her to go out with me; The very first time I ever encountered her directly while walking on the street (she, her brother, and I all went to the same school I've known her indirectly for 9 years), her mother said out of the blue, "she likes you, you know" and we had only just passed each other on the street; we had never even spoken before. At times I've wanted to stop loving her, even forget about her and leave her behind; but I can't, some force compels me to.
I do things for her; I've done her HW for her at times, I make her her favorite deserts (she loves all things chocolate) and I just try to be there for her. The sad part of this is that even if she never, ever loves me, I'll always love her. I don't think I could marry anyone else because she'd always be in my mind.
Interestingly enough, the other day I introduced her for the first time to the show All in the Family. She LOVED it and was laughing the whole way through. After a few episodes of watching Archie & Edith's interaction, she said (which was interesting) that me and her were just like Archie & Edith, only I was Edith LOL. She has a boyfriend right now, but boyfriends come and go in her life. But it hurts to see her face lighting up when she talks to him or texts him.
She and my mother the other night had a long talk about me, my problems in life, her and her future, as my mother walked her home (She loves my mother very much, perhaps more than her own mother who she doesn't get along at all with) the other day.
Last edited by CaughtintheMiddle1990; 04-12-2011 at 04:55 PM.
- Join Date
- Mar 2004
04-13-2011, 07:10 PM
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Southwest Michigan (in Exile)
04-13-2011, 07:59 PM
Okay, there are several possible outcomes to this:
- You two never connect beyond friendship. She leads you on and you waste your life in vain attempts to show her that you are the one for her.
- You never connect beyond friendship, but realize that and move on. You may or may not find the right woman, but you won't spend any more time or energy on the futile pursuit of a woman who knows how you feel and doesn't really care.
- You never connect, and her other boyfriends view you with varying degrees of scorn and/or jealousy, resulting in multiple trips to the emergency room.
- You never connect, and eventually give up trying when the court order is imposed.
- You hook up, and it's a disaster. The friendship is strained to the breaking point and eventually, you part in recrimination and rancor.
- You hook up and it's fine for a while, but eventually, you break up. Maybe you stay friends, maybe you don't, but you will either end up carrying a torch for her forever, or you realize that you're better without her and move on.
- You hook up and she's the love of your life. Decades from now, you and she find this thread on Google archives and laugh at how wrong we all were. Your grandchildren are also amused.
I won't bother calculating the odds, but I remind you that 1, 3 and 4 are not mutually exclusive.--Odysseus
Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.
Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
04-12-2011, 04:45 PM
Dude, two things:
1. You will meet many other women in life, some of whom will inflame you with desire (mentally and physically) and by comparison, this girl will always be your first love but no contender;
2. Print your post out and laminate it. Carry this with you 24/7 for the rest of your life. You have exactly described the kind of woman who wreaks havoc on men, children, and random passer-bys year after year after year. If she does hook-up with you in a moment of weakness, you will only wish that you had joined the Foreign Legion while there was still time.
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