Unrequited Love

[Gingersnap]

Dude, two things:

1. You will meet many other women in life, some of whom will inflame you with desire (mentally and physically) and by comparison, this girl will always be your first love but no contender;

2. Print your post out and laminate it. Carry this with you 24/7 for the rest of your life. You have exactly described the kind of woman who wreaks havoc on men, children, and random passer-bys year after year after year. If she does hook-up with you in a moment of weakness, you will only wish that you had joined the Foreign Legion while there was still time.

[CaughtintheMiddle1990]

Dude, two things:

1. You will meet many other women in life, some of whom will inflame you with desire (mentally and physically) and by comparison, this girl will always be your first love but no contender;

2. Print your post out and laminate it. Carry this with you 24/7 for the rest of your life. You have exactly described the kind of woman who wreaks havoc on men, children, and random passer-bys year after year after year. If she does hook-up with you in a moment of weakness, you will only wish that you had joined the Foreign Legion while there was still time.

Why do you say that she's the kind of woman who wrecks havoc on men and that I'll wish I had joined the Foreign Legion?

I mean men historically have very bad luck with women in my family, but still...

[Articulate_Ape]

3. It's "she and I".

[fettpett]

Why do you say that she's the kind of woman who wrecks havoc on men and that I'll wish I had joined the Foreign Legion?

I mean men historically have very bad luck with women in my family, but still...

dude, what you need to do is step back, take a deep breath and pray about it. there is no point trying to force things where there isn't one. I tried any number of times, but it didn't work. When I stepped back, and put it in God's hands, I found my wife, be 11 years this Sept that we've been together. You're young take your time.

[Gingersnap]

Why do you say that she's the kind of woman who wrecks havoc on men and that I'll wish I had joined the Foreign Legion?

I mean men historically have very bad luck with women in my family, but still...

Because she's using you and she has intimacy issues of one kind or another and that's never good news for spouses, children, or parents.

You can't fix whatever is wrong with her. She will have to fix that herself. In the meantime, you are kind of wasting your own time and setting yourself up to be her "go-to guy" when she is between relationships (or during relationships). This will inevitably generate huge drama. The kind of drama that involves pain, money, or jail time (maybe all three).

[fettpett]

Because she's using you and she has intimacy issues of one kind or another and that's never good news for spouses, children, or parents.

You can't fix whatever is wrong with her. She will have to fix that herself. In the meantime, you are kind of wasting your own time and setting yourself up to be her "go-to guy" when she is between relationships (or during relationships). This will inevitably generate huge drama. The kind of drama that involves pain, money, or jail time (maybe all three).

amen, trying to "fix" them is the worst damn thing you can try to do, women are all screwed up and their aint nothing we can do to change it.

[CaughtintheMiddle1990]

Because she's using you and she has intimacy issues of one kind or another and that's never good news for spouses, children, or parents.

You can't fix whatever is wrong with her. She will have to fix that herself. In the meantime, you are kind of wasting your own time and setting yourself up to be her "go-to guy" when she is between relationships (or during relationships). This will inevitably generate huge drama. The kind of drama that involves pain, money, or jail time (maybe all three).

That's the thing--I don't want to fix her. Just be with her. Scars, patches and all. I like who she is, intimacy issues included. I don't mind it. I have my faults too--some big ones, really--And I think real love isn't about trying to change a person, but about accepting the good in spite of the bad. That doesn't mean you have to lay down and be a punching bag, not at all, but I think you either love someone as they are--in total, black marks and all--or not at all. I don't think real, romantic love should come with strings attached like that. "Well, I love him...BUUTT..." No.

And I don't think she's using me...She's been there for me when I was sick, taken care of her and attended to me, and she's just been there period. She's been better than any woman I've actually been with. There is affection there, but its restrained somehow. Maybe she's afraid of it. I don't know.

[Rebel Yell]

That's the thing--I don't want to fix her. Just be with her. Scars, patches and all. I like who she is, intimacy issues included. I don't mind it. I have my faults too--some big ones, really--And I think real love isn't about trying to change a person, but about accepting the good in spite of the bad. That doesn't mean you have to lay down and be a punching bag, not at all, but I think you either love someone as they are--in total, black marks and all--or not at all. I don't think real, romantic love should come with strings attached like that. "Well, I love him...BUUTT..." No.

And I don't think she's using me...She's been there for me when I was sick, taken care of her and attended to me, and she's just been there period. She's been better than any woman I've actually been with. There is affection there, but its restrained somehow. Maybe she's afraid of it. I don't know.

Why don't you just punch yourself in the dick and waller around on broken glass? It'll accomplich the same thing.

[CaughtintheMiddle1990]

Why don't you just punch yourself in the dick and waller around on broken glass? It'll accomplich the same thing.

Hey, I'm not saying I'm going to be celibate in the hopes that she's gonna be with me. I'll date chicks in the meantime per usual. If she comes around, she comes around; if she don't, she don't.

[JB]

Dude, if it hasn't happened by now, it ain't gonna happen.

And quit being "crying on the shoulder guy" since you have feelings for her. Either be a friend only or head for the door when that shit starts. She's using you.