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  1. #11  
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    I was called to serve in a civil lawsuit. I told the plaintiff's lawyer, "I'm not surprised the guy wants money. The son of a bitch has never worked a day in his life!" I was booted right then.
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  2. #12  
    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    Just sit there with a shit-eating grin and blink a lot. Works every time.
    "Our president delivered his State of the Union message to Congress. That is one of the things his contract calls for -- to tell congress the condition of the country. This message, as I say, is to Congress. The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the president has to tell 'em." ~ Will Rogers
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  3. #13  
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    Show up REALLY drunk and then vomit when the bailiff comes in and says "all rise." That should do the trick nicely. Or, just tell them that you can spot guilty people by what they wear, because guilty people always wear blue (make sure the prosecution is wearing a blue suit when you say this, or adjust the color accordingly). Or, tell them that you're delighted to serve on the jury, that you have wanted to ever since the aliens put that probe in your butt, and that they'll be particularly interested in the testimony that you'll be transmitting on 486.258 MHz.
    Olde-style, states' rights conservative. Ask if this concept confuses you.
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  4. #14  
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    Quote Originally Posted by marv View Post
    Jury duty is a citizen's civic responsibility that I take very seriously. I've been called four times since 1971; two murder trials (one guilty and one not guilty), one workmen's compensation fraud (guilty), and last fall when the defendant took a plea deal before the trial started.

    I'm disappointed Calypso.
    Same here. I have been called twice....rape and armed robbery.(guilty)...burgulary (not guilty). I did not want to serve but I felt it was my duty.
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  5. #15  
    Senior Member namvet's Avatar
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    before the trial. say he/she's guilty as hell. throw the book at em judge. hang em high
    Liberals: Obama's useful Idiots
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  6. #16  
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    LoL 2 things. I understand civic duty. That doesn't alter the fact that when i would have been delighted to do it they didn't see fit to call me. NOW that i have other responsibilities AND want to do other things, NOW they call. Maybe you need to be a little older to understand this phenomenon.
    I showed UP did i NOT?? I don't know you and your disappointment means not a jot to me. and you don't know me either.

    funny part. I was foreman. I rarely go downtown any more and i parked in a place that i shouldn't have. Couirt House picked up the tab for the boot they put on my wheel. :D what. a. day. As usual, i was the one that brought paper, pens, extra pair of glasses.
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  7. #17  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Calypso Jones View Post
    LoL 2 things. I understand civic duty. That doesn't alter the fact that when i would have been delighted to do it they didn't see fit to call me. NOW that i have other responsibilities AND want to do other things, NOW they call. Maybe you need to be a little older to understand this phenomenon.
    I showed UP did i NOT?? I don't know you and your disappointment means not a jot to me. and you don't know me either.

    funny part. I was foreman. I rarely go downtown any more and i parked in a place that i shouldn't have. Couirt House picked up the tab for the boot they put on my wheel. :D what. a. day. As usual, i was the one that brought paper, pens, extra pair of glasses.
    Yep, you showed up like you were supposed to but people here are getting the rope. Wuddup with dat!:D
    How is obama working out for you?
    http://i686.photobucket.com/albums/vv230/upyourstruly/5d569df9-186a-477b-a665-3ea8a8b9b655_zpse9003e54.jpg
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  8. #18  
    Senior Member Madisonian's Avatar
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    Tell them you are a firm believer in the right of jury nullification and belong to Fully Informed Jury Association.

    It is legal, it is you're right and it will get you tossed off of any jury.
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  9. #19  
    CU Royalty JB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marv View Post
    two murder trials (one guilty and one not guilty)
    They commit murder in a place called Shell Knob? My God, is no place safe?
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  10. #20  
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    This grand jury thingy...there was no disqualification of jurors. WE WERE IT. I had my books, tapes, water apple all set to hurry up and wait. It's like a small group of people determine if there was a crime and if the defendant could likely be the one doing it. We didn't go with yes every time.
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