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  1. #11  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Articulate_Ape View Post
    It depends on how well you secure the duct tape.
    There's a difference between wanting and getting. Duct tape isn't necessarily an aphrodisiac.

    A man was prescribed Viagra by his doctor who told him to take it one hour before sex. The man collected his prescription and went home to wait for his
    wife to get in from work. An hour before she was due home, he took the Viagra pill.
    ...But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she wouldn't be in for another two and a half hours.
    In a panic, he phoned the doctor. "What should I do?" he asked. "I've taken the pill but the effects will have worn off by the time my wife gets home."
    "I see," said the doctor. "It is a pity to waste it. Do you have a
    maid?"
    "Yes."
    "Well, could you not occupy yourself with her instead?"
    "But I don't need Viagra with the maid."
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  2. #12  
    The big Cheese
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    Quote Originally Posted by Odysseus View Post
    There's a difference between wanting and getting. Duct tape isn't necessarily an aphrodisiac.

    A man was prescribed Viagra by his doctor who told him to take it one hour before sex. The man collected his prescription and went home to wait for his
    wife to get in from work. An hour before she was due home, he took the Viagra pill.
    ...But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she wouldn't be in for another two and a half hours.
    In a panic, he phoned the doctor. "What should I do?" he asked. "I've taken the pill but the effects will have worn off by the time my wife gets home."
    "I see," said the doctor. "It is a pity to waste it. Do you have a
    maid?"
    "Yes."
    "Well, could you not occupy yourself with her instead?"
    "But I don't need Viagra with the maid."
    lol
    One does not greet death when he knocks at your door.

    Nay you repeatedly punch him in the throat as he slowly drags you away.
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  3. #13  
    CU Royalty JB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zafod View Post
    only a few woman want more than a half hour of sex.....
    I give 'em four minutes whether they like it or not. I'll bump it to six if she puts a sammich on the nightstand.
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  4. #14  
    Senior Betwixt Member Bubba Dawg's Avatar
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    I'm thinking outside the box here.

    An erection lasting 1 1/2 to two hours.....

    I remember hearing about a coffee maker for a military aircraft that was supposed to be a really tough coffee maker.

    It would continue working even in extreme conditions of temperature and g-forces that were so severe that the coffee maker would continue to be working in conditions so severe that the crew would long ago have died.

    Point is, Personally, I don't think i would survive a two-hour love making session. The rest of me would be dead and the....coffee maker.....would still be working.
    Hey careful man! There's a beverage here!
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  5. #15  
    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubba Dawg View Post
    I'm thinking outside the box here.

    An erection lasting 1 1/2 to two hours.....

    I remember hearing about a coffee maker for a military aircraft that was supposed to be a really tough coffee maker.

    It would continue working even in extreme conditions of temperature and g-forces that were so severe that the coffee maker would continue to be working in conditions so severe that the crew would long ago have died.

    Point is, Personally, I don't think i would survive a two-hour love making session. The rest of me would be dead and the....coffee maker.....would still be working.
    Heh. :D
    "The efforts of the government alone will never be enough. In the end the people must choose and the people must help themselves" ~ JFK; from his famous inauguration speech (What Democrats sounded like before today's neo-Liberals hijacked that party)
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  6. #16  
    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Odysseus View Post
    There's a difference between wanting and getting. Duct tape isn't necessarily an aphrodisiac.
    Of course it isn't. That's what the porn videos are for. I'm not as young as I once was, if you know what I mean.
    "The efforts of the government alone will never be enough. In the end the people must choose and the people must help themselves" ~ JFK; from his famous inauguration speech (What Democrats sounded like before today's neo-Liberals hijacked that party)
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  7. #17  
    Best Bounty Hunter in the Forums fettpett's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Articulate_Ape View Post
    Of course it isn't. That's what the porn videos are for. I'm not as young as I once was, if you know what I mean.
    thats what the viagra is for ;)
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  8. #18  
    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fettpett View Post
    thats what the viagra is for ;)
    Am I in the mate tricks? Morpheus? WTF?
    "The efforts of the government alone will never be enough. In the end the people must choose and the people must help themselves" ~ JFK; from his famous inauguration speech (What Democrats sounded like before today's neo-Liberals hijacked that party)
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  9. #19  
    Senior Member Madisonian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Articulate_Ape View Post
    Of course it isn't. That's what the porn videos are for. I'm not as young as I once was, if you know what I mean.
    Warning... graphic:D

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgN5sFeYcjI

    Just for you buddy!
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  10. #20  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubba Dawg View Post
    I'm thinking outside the box here.

    An erection lasting 1 1/2 to two hours.....

    I remember hearing about a coffee maker for a military aircraft that was supposed to be a really tough coffee maker.

    It would continue working even in extreme conditions of temperature and g-forces that were so severe that the coffee maker would continue to be working in conditions so severe that the crew would long ago have died.

    Point is, Personally, I don't think i would survive a two-hour love making session. The rest of me would be dead and the....coffee maker.....would still be working.
    Puts whole new meaning to the term "automatic drip."
    Quote Originally Posted by Articulate_Ape View Post
    Of course it isn't. That's what the porn videos are for. I'm not as young as I once was, if you know what I mean.
    None of us are, but it beats the alternative.
    Quote Originally Posted by Madisonian View Post
    Warning... graphic:D

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgN5sFeYcjI

    Just for you buddy!
    Ah, hot monkey love. Once you go baboon, you never go back.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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