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  1. #1 Are any guys step-fathers here, or were ever? 
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    Have any guys here ever been in the position of being a step-father, whether in the present or in the past? How was the experience of it? Most of the men in my mother's side of the family have been put in that position at one time or another.
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  2. #2  
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    I was a step father. Had a step mother......well, in fact, I was a double step child, with two step parents.

    It was tough, both as a step child and a step parent. I've know some people who were very successful step parents, some not.

    Why do you ask?
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  3. #3  
    Senior Member malloc's Avatar
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    I'm a step father, but I became one when the kids were ages 2 & 5, so it's not like I'm not really a step parent to them.
    "In England a king hath little more to do than to make war and give away places; which in plain terms, is to impoverish the nation and set it together by the ears. A pretty business indeed for a man to be allowed eight hundred thousand sterling a year for, and worshipped into the bargain! Of more worth is one honest man to society and in the sight of God, than all the crowned ruffians that ever lived."
    —Thomas Paine, Common Sense
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  4. #4  
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    Quote Originally Posted by malloc View Post
    I'm a step father, but I became one when the kids were ages 2 & 5, so it's not like I'm not really a step parent to them.
    I've never been a step-dad but had a step-dad from the time I was 4. He was my "real" dad in that sense because he is the one who raised my, instilled my values, etc. He passed away last year and I miss him far more than I know I will miss my natural father when he passes on.
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  5. #5  
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    I ask cause I'm pursuing a girl my age who has a young son.
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  6. #6  
    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    I am, but I prefer the term stair-father.
    "Our president delivered his State of the Union message to Congress. That is one of the things his contract calls for -- to tell congress the condition of the country. This message, as I say, is to Congress. The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the president has to tell 'em." ~ Will Rogers
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  7. #7  
    Senior Member malloc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pyackog View Post
    I've never been a step-dad but had a step-dad from the time I was 4. He was my "real" dad in that sense because he is the one who raised my, instilled my values, etc. He passed away last year and I miss him far more than I know I will miss my natural father when he passes on.
    I'm kind of in the same position. Their "real" dad is a dead beat. A complete waste of oxygen. He doesn't provide any support, monetary or otherwise. Hell, he doesn't even communicate with them. The guy's completely useless, unskilled, and perpetually unemployed anyway, so it's probably for the best.
    "In England a king hath little more to do than to make war and give away places; which in plain terms, is to impoverish the nation and set it together by the ears. A pretty business indeed for a man to be allowed eight hundred thousand sterling a year for, and worshipped into the bargain! Of more worth is one honest man to society and in the sight of God, than all the crowned ruffians that ever lived."
    —Thomas Paine, Common Sense
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  8. #8  
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaughtintheMiddle1990 View Post
    I ask cause I'm pursuing a girl my age who has a young son.
    Yeah. That's what happened to me. Raised him from the age of 2.
    There are so very many variables in this step parent/child equations that it becomes almost impossible to predict a solution. In fact, even the problems are unpredictable. I know men who are very close to their step children; men who do a fantastic job; men who have been total failures; women who get between the child and his step father, usurping the man's position; women who have maintained lifetime relationships with step children for whom they no longer have responsibility; and just about everything in between.

    Three things I encourage:
    1) A sense of humor
    2) A sense of fairness
    3) The right amount of patience (That one's a little nebulous, I know.):)

    But DO NOT use the child in any way to get to his Mommy, OK? :)
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  9. #9  
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    I was at one time. The funny thing was I was closer in age to my step-kids than I was to my then wife(6 and 9 years from the kids and 10 from my ex-wife). We got along great. Especially with my step-son.
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  10. #10  
    CU's Tallest Midget! PoliCon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaughtintheMiddle1990 View Post
    Have any guys here ever been in the position of being a step-father, whether in the present or in the past? How was the experience of it? Most of the men in my mother's side of the family have been put in that position at one time or another.
    I'm not a step father - but I am a surrogate father to my boys. :) I make sure they keep up contact with their parents even when they don't want to - but they know what is expected of them when they moved in what my obligations to them would be as well. While they can at times - like all teenaged boys - be a real handful and do try my patience - I love them to death.




    And if they piss me off again - death it will be!:mad:




    ;):D
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