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  1. #1 Tuesday's Hungover 
    Zoomie djones520's Avatar
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    Beautiful day here today. Mid 60's, not a cloud in the sky, and I've got a lawn suffering from two straight weeks of rain fall in need of a mowing.

    TOTD: I'm sure we've all had it. That morning where we wake up not really remembering what happened the night before, but pretty damn sure your glad you can't remember. Until your friends tell you that is. :mad:

    Now i'm about to tell you my most embarassing drunk story, so you folks had better pony up as well.

    Mine happened when I was 18 (yeah yeah, I know, underage drinking story). A female friend of mine who I had a bit of a crush on had told me that the only thing she wanted for her birthday was for me to get drunk with her. I figure, what the hell.

    Now I was young, and very inexperienced with booze at the time. I didn't know that eating things like breads before hand would be helpful, or that being well hydrated would lessen the effects of the hangover. I started the night off with a couple double shots of rum. Within the hour I was chugging vodka straight from the bottle. The rest of the night I can just remember bits and peices. I remember wrestling in the yard with the birthday girl. Yelling at someone to get the hell out of here because no one really liked him. Crying about the girl that I had lost in the past. And getting punched by another friend for uttering some religious blasphemies.

    The next thing I remember is waking up half inside of a trash can.

    Now as far as hang overs go, this wasn't too horrible. I vomited a couple times, but didn't really have a head ache. I drank a couple glasses of water, did the rounds and made sure everyone else was still alive, and went home to get some more sleep. A few hours later, one of my friends (he filled the role of bigger brother in my dumb kid days as an Airman) stopped by to make sure I was ok. And then he filled me in on some of the blank spots.

    Now this all happened 8 years ago, so a lot of it has just been lost to time, but the key thing that has stuck with me, and will stay with me till the day I die is what I had told the girl whose birthday it was. While playing poker, out of the blue I just blurted out "I want to fuck you like a horny fucking rhino."

    I just couldn't believe him when he told me this. At the time, I was extremely reserved about feelings like that. Just didn't share them. It was such a foreign concept to me to have done something like that. It took 2 other people to independantly verify it before I actually believed it. To say the least, I was so embarrased with myself I could have crawled into a whole a died.

    Later that day I stopped by her house (for the real birthday party), and apologized. I don't know if she really remembered, but if she did she handled it well and life went on like it never had happend. I for the most part swore off alchohal after that event. For the next 6 months, i'd literally get naucious just reading about people drinking.

    It was probably 5 years before I'd let myself get "drunk" again, but even now it's never more then a bit of a buzz. I'll never let myself cross that threshold again.
    In most sports, cold-cocking an opposing player repeatedly in the face with a series of gigantic Slovakian uppercuts would get you a multi-game suspension without pay.

    In hockey, it means you have to sit in the penalty box for five minutes.
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  2. #2  
    Senior Member jendf's Avatar
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    TOTD: My worst drinking experience was when I had a shot of everclear. I was pretty sure I was going to die. And I had that shot after I had consumed a strawberry daquiri earlier in the evening. So my puke was a purty pink color.

    But as far as making a fool of myself, I don't recall. And it's probably for the best. :D
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  3. #3  
    We're finally going to be in the 60s today without rain, wind, or whatever.

    TOTD: I've told my pathetic college drunk story before. The real take-home message I got from that experience is that the 2 hours of fun was no where near being worth the next 24 hours of misery. That and discovering that all my so-called "friends" were heartless bitches. :mad:
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  4. #4  
    Zoomie djones520's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    We're finally going to be in the 60s today without rain, wind, or whatever.

    TOTD: I've told my pathetic college drunk story before. The real take-home message I got from that experience is that the 2 hours of fun was no where near being worth the next 24 hours of misery. That and discovering that all my so-called "friends" were heartless bitches. :mad:
    Hey! Some of us haven't seen that. I showed you mine, you show me yours. :p
    In most sports, cold-cocking an opposing player repeatedly in the face with a series of gigantic Slovakian uppercuts would get you a multi-game suspension without pay.

    In hockey, it means you have to sit in the penalty box for five minutes.
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  5. #5  
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    My worst experience drinking was when I was 18. Got to a party and immediately pounded 7 shots of Absolut in the first 15 minutes, then found out I they were double shots. 14 shots in 15 minutes got me dumb enough to think "how much can I drink?" 15 more shots in the next 45 minutes for a grand total of 29 in an hour (didn't find out until later that that probably should have killed me). I remember nothing after that until I woke up the next morning sprawled on the hood of my car down the block from the house.

    Was told me and a buddy of mine got into a fight over a pair of scissors...he was guido he always joked that he was going to cut my hair off (I had then and now long hair). He was almost as drunk as me and decided to go for it...he didn't remember either.

    Lots and lots of other fun drinking stories but that was the only time in my life I ever had any memory loss from it.
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  6. #6  
    Quote Originally Posted by djones520 View Post
    Hey! Some of us haven't seen that. I showed you mine, you show me yours. :p
    I was at college and I was not a big drinker (nor ever became one). For whatever reason a bunch of us were dateless and decided to just play cards, listen to music, and drink that Friday night. They bought vodka and made screwdrivers. It was initially a lot of fun but at a certain point I realized that I could not count my own hand let alone keep track of anybody else's play. I also felt sick.

    At some time-lapsed point I'm in the bathroom hurling at the speed of light while my friends are laughing at me and holding my hair. Later they attempt to cure me with dorm room food which sets off another round of barfing. By this time I cannot see, walk, or even stand up. Somehow they get me to my room and into bed.

    Hours later I wake up and I just wish I was dead. Water makes me nauseated and my hair hurts. My friends come to see how I'm doing but they're all laughing and trying to get me to go with them. I would have killed all of them but I was too weak. The rest of the weekend is just one long, painful blur.

    As far as I know (and they would have told me - over and over again), I didn't do anything or say anything that was really life-changing but it did change my life since I never got drunk like that again ever. I also never went near vodka again. :(
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  7. #7  
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    Quote Originally Posted by djones520 View Post
    the key thing that has stuck with me, and will stay with me till the day I die is what I had told the girl whose birthday it was. While playing poker, out of the blue I just blurted out "I want to fuck you like a horny fucking rhino."
    Sorta drunk is when you talk about it. Really drunk is when you go ahead and do it. God gives us blackouts for a reason - because He is merciful. :p

    With such a classy come-on line, it's hard to believe you didn't succeed.
    "Today, [the American voter] chooses his rulers as he buys bootleg whiskey, never knowing precisely what he is getting, only certain that it is not what it pretends to be." - H.L. Mencken
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  8. #8  
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    These days, the classic hangover stories are posted on TextsFromLastNight.com. Here's a recent entry as an example:

    "Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me."
    "Today, [the American voter] chooses his rulers as he buys bootleg whiskey, never knowing precisely what he is getting, only certain that it is not what it pretends to be." - H.L. Mencken
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  9. #9  
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    the one and only time I will ever ever EVER drink with locals in WI was a few years ago.

    I was on a business trip. I thought I could keep up. I lost memory for the first time in my life.

    It was the dead of winter....25 below zero and I couldnt feel it I was that drunk.....

    Apparently I did snow angels in the parking lot and tackled random people in the hotel lobey.....


    I woke up the next morning praying for a airplane to crash into my hotel room and kill me.......
    One does not greet death when he knocks at your door.

    Nay you repeatedly punch him in the throat as he slowly drags you away.
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  10. #10  
    Quote Originally Posted by linda22003 View Post
    These days, the classic hangover stories are posted on TextsFromLastNight.com. Here's a recent entry as an example:

    "Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me."
    That website one penetrating education in debauchery, all right. :eek:
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