...Rapture Ready Mirror Ball Suit $250000 (Seattle)

But are you prepared for the EVIL OBAMUNIST USURPER'S response?

Are you ready for the Rapture on May 21, 2011? Sure, you may have all the duct tape you'll need to strap your favorite items to your body (After all, Heaven wouldn't be Heaven without that "Live From Branson" box set).

Certainly, he will not stand by idly while god-fearing men and not-men are launched into the heavens to join Jesus' Celestial Armies of Righteousness. Obama's gotta respond. He's going to activate the Strategic Defense Initiative's space lasers and shoot the godly down. It'll be ugly. The righteous will explode in clouds of blood like so many lawyer faces at a Cheney hunting party.

But those of us who have the foresight to wear mirror ball suits will survive. Obama's luciferian lasers will bounce harmlessly off our bodies as we arc gracefully into Heaven. For a mere $250,000--money you'll no longer need after you're raptured--you can shoot into God's arms safely, heterosexually, and in style.

Gen. JC Christian, patriot