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  1. #11  
    Festivus Moderator ralph wiggum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by movie buff View Post
    I figured it was a reference to this old episode of 'Seinfeld' where Elaine gets fired or at least is denied a promotion (I forget which) because an employee drug test she took tested positive for opium, but it turned out it was just because she had a fondness for poppy- seed muffins.
    Aren't all episodes of 'Seinfeld' technically "old" now. :eek:

    Yeah, I thought of that episode too as I am quite familiar with the series.
    Voted hottest "chick" at CU - My hotness transcends gender
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  2. #12  
    Power CUer FlaGator's Avatar
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    How to pass a urine test. Stay up the night before and study, study, study.

    I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
    C. S. Lewis
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  3. #13  
    Senior Member Beefeater's Avatar
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    It seems the height of DUmbness to be asking this question of a group of MORONS who probably have all failed an employment drug screening thus allowing them to post on that forum all day in the 1st place.
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  4. #14  
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    Quote Originally Posted by ralph wiggum View Post
    So, if I am to believe this story (which I don't), this idiot ate enough poppy-seed bagels to spend five years at a juvenile facility?

    Where's that giant B.S. flag when I need it?
    Olde-style, states' rights conservative. Ask if this concept confuses you.
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  5. #15  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ralph wiggum View Post
    So, if I am to believe this story (which I don't), this idiot ate enough poppy-seed bagels to spend five years at a juvenile facility?

    Where's that giant B.S. flag when I need it?
    I believe it. He obviously had a roaring case of the munchies. :D
    Quote Originally Posted by FlaGator View Post
    How to pass a urine test. Stay up the night before and study, study, study.
    I've found that it helps to cram before a test. A gallon of water works wonders.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  6. #16  
    Quote Originally Posted by noonwitch View Post
    Hey, Dummie, it's called Goldenseal tea. Ask any crackhead who got their kids back from foster care.
    Don't it works in your neck of the woods but Goldenseal is just a diuretic. Most places test for specific gravity now out here. Peeing more isn't helpful.
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  7. #17  
    CU Royalty JB's Avatar
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    SidDithers (1000+ posts) Mon May-16-11 12:58 PM
    Response to Original message

    22. K&R for any post with the phrase "fake penis" in it...
    What if a chick needs to take the test?

    Fake vajayjay? Is that possible?
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  8. #18  
    Zoomie djones520's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Odysseus View Post
    I believe it. He obviously had a roaring case of the munchies. :D


    I've found that it helps to cram before a test. A gallon of water works wonders.
    When I first enlisted I was a skinny bastard. I weighed about 10lbs UNDER the minimum weight allowance. That morning before getting leaving the hotel for the physical, I slammed a gallon of water.

    They get us in, weigh us, and take us to a room to sit down. Next in line was the drug test. After about 20 minutes, you can see a number of us starting to do a bit of a dance in our chairs. A few minutes later we're standing up just trying to think about something else. The recruiters there all know whats going on, and you could see a hint of a smile on their face. Finally, one of them spoke up and says "Ok, it's time to do a urinalyses. Who really needs to go first?" We bolted for that door. Not one of us gave it a single though that it was just 6 us us standing around a circular trough hanging out pissing into a cup with a bunch of other guys watching. I never had to pee so bad in my life. And I still needed a weight waiver. :mad:
    In most sports, cold-cocking an opposing player repeatedly in the face with a series of gigantic Slovakian uppercuts would get you a multi-game suspension without pay.

    In hockey, it means you have to sit in the penalty box for five minutes.
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  9. #19  
    I know how to pass that urine test. I've done it over and over again.

    (I stay out of trouble).
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  10. #20  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Wood View Post

    Yeah. Nothing like hanging steel while stoned. That's not a recipe for disaster or anything.
    Pretty much every iron worker I have ever known was a partier.
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