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  1. #1 Two ladies talking in heaven: 
    An Adversary of Linda #'s
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    Aug 2005
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    22,891
    Two ladies talking in heaven:


    1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

    2nd woman: Hi! I'm Kelly. How'd you die?

    1st woman: I froze to death.

    2nd woman: How horrible!

    1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

    2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV

    1st woman: So, what happened?

    2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
    1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
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  2. #2 I thought you were bringing her back.” 
    An Adversary of Linda #'s
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    22,891

    A Georgia senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. 'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

    But looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, blue and red lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

    Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the corvette, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes, plus today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.” The old gentleman paused then said, “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Georgia State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.” “Have a good day, Sir,” replied the trooper!!
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  3. #3  
    CU Royalty JB's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    8,172
    I liked both of them. Here's a kick.

    +1
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