Thread: Sticky suggestion: Bouncy grading

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  1. #1 Sticky suggestion: Bouncy grading 
    Senior Member FDK's Avatar
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    I think we need a stciky with bouncy rules for visiting DUmmies. Let's face it, the quality of bouncies has been steadily declining while the numbers are on the rise. I suggest we have a stciky which explains the basics of grading bouncies so that the DUmmiess can score some decent bongage.

    All of the following gain additional bong power:

    a) "So, I was ....." - This one doesn't score too many autobongs - maybe one at best - but at least it's sets the stage.

    b) Location, location, location - You need to be in line at Wal-Mart (which you NEVER go to but just HAD TO for whatever reason.) Or you need to be at the gas pump and see an offedning bumper sticker on a Hummer, SUV, big 'ole pickup, etc... Or you need to be in a bar, Applebee's, Starbucks or any other well-known national chain. Though if you can give an eloquent description of a local small business(like Obama would) that works too.

    c) The (soon to be converted) "opponent" - this has to be a DU Rethuglican stereotype. e.g. NASCAR dad, "atomic" fundie, trust fund MBA, my grandmother who has been a devoted (and voted) Republican all of her life,.... you get the idea.

    d) Conversion - This is really the key elelment of any good bouncy. Unless you've taken the "opponent" and converted them with DUmmie talking points then there's no way you're gonna score above 4 bongs. It just ain't gonna happen unles you're very good at creative writing.

    e) "Dumbfounded" or "speechless" - Once again, the key here is to use DUmie talking points or, better yet, DUmmie "logic" to silence and convert the opponent.

    f) It has to end up with someone voting for Obama and rushing to change their voter registration from Rep to Dem. Converting an independent or fence-sitter is kind of wimpy.

    g) Extra credit - given for cops leaping out of bushes, bricks and a few other things related to some of the classic legacy bouncies.
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  2. #2  
    Bonus points for taking on 2 or more "rethugs" at a time, getting laughter or applause from the checkout line audience, or confronting a "winger" who is also buying ammo.

    Points will taken off for bullying 85 year old church ladies, for describing a remote bouncy done by your kid in school, or for the heavy use of relatives in any conversion event.
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  3. #3  
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    What about destruction to property?
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  4. #4  
    Well done, FDK. We can only hope the bouncies inprove. Good bouncy-drafting is really becoming a lost art over there. Bouncy Ball would be ashamed.
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  5. #5  
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    I too am glad to see this list of items that should be considered.

    Occasionally I come across a anecdote on DU that I believe has promise, but the situation is so
    obviously false, poorly written, or it doesn't quite end with a Republican seething in agitation over
    the exchange.
    In fact, more often or not I'm left with the feeling that other DUmmie's know it is a completely
    false story - but if they say so they know they will be ridiculed or banned.

    I've always wanted to see the "Big Story" - you know, where some DUmmie converts a Republican
    Congressman or even a local politician.
    Perhaps we will see that some day.
    Maybe a mole will do it eventually - just to watch the reaction from the hive. :D
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  6. #6  
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    Cops don't have to jump out of bushes for it to give a boost to a Bouncy. They just have to be in the story, as oppressive villains.
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  7. #7  
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    I'm new....what is a bouncy? Sounds like fun.
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  8. #8  
    Festivus Moderator ralph wiggum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by micmac View Post
    I'm new....what is a bouncy? Sounds like fun.
    Enjoy!

    BOUNCY BALL TALE

    1. Bouncy Ball tale

    A recounting of an imaginary encounter (portrayed as fact) by a liberal moonbat between themselves and a conservative in which the latter usually displays some exaggerated, stereotypical speech or behavior that the liberal defines as repugnant in some way. It may also involve a "conversion", in which the (usually lifelong) conservative reaches an epiphany, realizes the error of his or her ways, and instantly becomes a diehard liberal as a result.

    The teller of the tale may be a passive observer, may engage the conservative in innocuous conversation to draw them out or may actively confront the conservative over their speech or behavior. When confronting the conservative, the liberal invariably comes out on top of the exchange, embarrassing the conservative, exposing their lie(s) and/or hypocrisy, and may cause the conservative to instantly realize the error of their ways, resulting in the aforementioned conversion.

    Common elements of the imaginary encounter may include the liberal and conservative interacting alone but may occur before onlookers, who either cheer on the liberal for their devastating rhetoric or congratulate them afterwards on their "victory" over the neanderthal conservative. The conservative is either left speechless, fumbles or mumbles their argument, is shamed into silence, reacts in some egregious manner, or again, becomes "enlightened" by the sheer weight of the liberal's logic. The encounter for some unknown reason is usually portrayed as taking place at a gas station or convenience store, though it is less frequently related as occuring in a retail store, on the job or at a family gathering, but regardless of the venue the results are always the same. The story often starts with the lead-in, "So, I was at the...(insert location here)", followed by the narrative of events.

    The purpose of the Bouncy Ball tale is for the teller to gain favor for themselves amongst their listeners (or readers), establish their bona fides as a true militant liberal, or to boost sagging morale by convincing their compatriots that they are "winning" the war of ideas. The tale is also popularly used to bolster the argument that the U.S. is in a headlong slide into fascism, particularly when an abusive law enforcement officer is introduced as a character in the story. It may also serve as a paranoia-heightening device if it includes Black SUVs, Black Helicopters, strange clicks on the telephone, rumors of re-education camps, etc.

    The term "Bouncy Ball tale" is derived from the screen name of a particular poster on a far-left website who was prolific in producing such flights of fancy for her fellow members' edification. Synonyms include the diminutive "bouncy", "freeper encounter", and "bullshit moonbat story".

    The Bouncy Ball tale is most prevalent at www.democraticunderground.com. The quality of the tale is sometimes rated by members of conservative moonbat-watching websites using a "bong scale", with 0 Bongs being the least amusing and 10 Bongs representing the most amusing and creative stories. Usually, the more classic elements added to the story (conversions, stunned silences, devastated opponents, the fabled "cops jumping out of bushes", and so forth), the higher the bong rating will be.

    Classic Bouncy Ball tale : So, I was at the convenience store filling up my Prius, and this huge Hummer pulls up covered with W'04 and NRA stickers. A blue-haired old lady steps out wearing cowboy boots and a Huckabee campaign button and immediately starts complaining about the price of gas. I can't contain my rage any longer and finally blurted out, "Did you know that monstrosity you're driving as a replacement for a penis kills 3,500 baby seals a year, and that Chimpy McCokespoon has personally executed over 1,300,000 innocent Iraqis?" Well she started blubbering something about "terra", and I strode over and kicked the Truck Balls off her trailer hitch, peeled her Columbine-inducing NRA stickers off and handed her a set of enlistment papers for the U.S. Marine Corps. She eventually started crying and confessed that she hated GWB but thought he was the only one who could save her from brown-skinned people. I proceeded to tell her about how the President ordered the attack on the WTC and how he breakfasts on Afghani babies and light sweet crude. Finally, she thanks me for opening her eyes and I give her a card for the local Democratic Party committee and Code Pink chapter. As she drove off, two homeless people hanging out by the ice cooler started applauding and thanked me for Speaking Truth To Power. The tide is turning, folks.
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  9. #9  
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    New too. What's a DU?

    OK DUh I figured it out. My ignorance almost makes me feel like a DUmmy. I'll recover. Thanks for your concern.
    Last edited by OldDude201; 02-27-2009 at 09:05 PM.
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  10. #10  
    Quote Originally Posted by BamMeageinano View Post
    Volunteers?

    If anyone is willing to step up and add to or update a section of a sticky, PM the sticky owner with your suggestion and ask them if they would add your information. Most will probably give you credit, if thats what you are after. Every addition is probably going to help a few fellow EOCFers across the web. Give us something worth stickying
    Dude - WTF?
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