Thread: Evidence of Global Warming on Mars, Likely Caused by Human Activity

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  1. #1 Evidence of Global Warming on Mars, Likely Caused by Human Activity 
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    Evidence:

    Observations by NASA's now-defunct Mars Global Surveyor show evidence that parts of the southern polar ice cap have been receding. Source
    Human Activity on Mars: The exploration of Mars has been an important part of the space exploration programs of the Soviet Union, the United States, Europe, and Japan. Dozens of robotic spacecraft, including orbiters, landers, and rovers, have been launched toward Mars since the 1960s. These missions were aimed at gathering data about current conditions and answering questions about the history of Mars as well as a preparation for a possible human mission to Mars. The questions raised by the scientific community are expected to not only give a better appreciation of the red planet but also yield further insight into the past, and possible future, of Earth. Source
    I propose that the green-loving conservatives of this forum petition Congress to submit a bill requiring all future Mars exploration missions to be carbon-neutral. Carbon Dioxide comprises approximately 95.23% of Mars' atmosphere, indicating we must act NOW to curtail further Mars global warming. Mars' surface tempature is currently a balmy -82 degrees F, any further warming could jepordize the micro organisms that may or may not exist on Mars today.

    - Are we going to sit around and do nothing?
    - Are we going to allow the Mars polar caps to melt away? How will we explain Mars polar caps to the next generation? Are you going to be able to look your grandkids in the eye and tell them that you could have done something to save them, but you were too busy?
    - Are we going to stand by as the NASA massacre of micro organisms continues? Are we going to continue wasting taxpayer money supporting NASA's illegal War on Mars while welfare recipients continue to drive last year's car model?

    All reputible scientists who receive money from interest groups agree - the evidence is conclusive: human activity on Mars is causing the global warming.

    In addition to petitioning Congress, I have developed a few tactics to use in order to support this critical agenda:

    - Flood online forums of the "enemy" (aka the murder-supporting libs who want to exploit Mars) with authorized talking points. Engage and destroy through volume of data which supresses dissent without actually having to resort to logic. Creating multiple handles to submit large volumes of data is highly encouraged.
    - Fearmongering and brinksmanship is our friend. Ask questions like Do you want to risk extinquishing all life on Mars and melt the caps? I didn't think so. Use blatant appeals to emotion in order to pick off weaker libs.
    - Protest in large numbers. Pad numbers by hiring career protestors and allowing other protest groups to strap-hang onto the demonstration (gay rights, atheism, anti-religion, legalize it, etc). Smoking dope, chanting violent rhetoric, and engaging in explicit sexual activities is highly encouraged.
    - If cornered into a debate that you are losing, such as someone pointing out that Mars may be undergoing a natural cycle not linked to human activity, attack the other person's character (aka flaming) until the debate degenerates into immature name-calling, which automatically renders the debate a "tie" (we can manipulate it to look like a win later).

    Remember - our path to victory will be won through propaganda and information control!
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  2. #2  
    Senior Member The Night Owl's Avatar
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    Wow! You put a lot of effort into this post. Unfortunately, the joke falls flat because scientists already know why Mars is warming.

    http://www.nature.com/nature/journal...ture05718.html
    Ubi Dubium Ibi Libertas
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  3. #3  
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Night Owl View Post
    Wow! You put a lot of effort into this post. Unfortunately, the joke falls flat because scientists already know why Mars is warming.

    http://www.nature.com/nature/journal...ture05718.html
    Those scientists have well-known ties to liberal interest groups and are paid to disseminate propaganda countering the UNDENIABLE facts that Mars' global warming is man-made.
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  4. #4  
    Senior Member The Night Owl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the director View Post
    Those scientists have well-known ties to liberal interest groups and are paid to disseminate propaganda countering the UNDENIABLE facts that Mars' global warming is man-made.
    Maybe I don't get the joke. Why would liberal interest groups want to counter, as you put it, the undeniable fact that global warming on Mars is man-made?
    Ubi Dubium Ibi Libertas
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  5. #5  
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Night Owl View Post
    Maybe I don't get the joke. Why would liberal interest groups want to counter, as you put it, the undeniable fact that global warming on Mars is man-made?
    Obviously the corporate interest groups that make money off of NASA missions to Mars control the Democrats.
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  6. #6  
    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    I would submit that TNO is singularly responsible for Mars warming because he forgot to turn down the thermostat when he left.
    "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein
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  7. #7  
    Senior Member Zathras's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Night Owl View Post
    Maybe I don't get the joke. Why would liberal interest groups want to counter, as you put it, the undeniable fact that global warming on Mars is man-made?
    You believe in man made global warming...I'm not surprised you don't get the joke.
    Solve a man's problem with violence and help him for a day. Teach a man how to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime - Belkar Bitterleaf
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  8. #8  
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    I had french fries a little while ago with homemade ketchup.
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  9. #9  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Novaheart View Post
    I had french fries a little while ago with homemade ketchup.
    I thought you Russians only ate sushi on Fridays.
    "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein
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  10. #10 I confess 
    my SUV is responsible for the temp increase on Mars. My bad.
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